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3 Surprising Facts About The Mind Of An Abusive Husband

Did you know that in the United States alone, there as many as four million women who suffer assaults from the hands of their abusive husband each year? This leaves us wondering, “Why do they hurt the woman they claim to love?”

In order to find the answer, we need to know just what is going on in the abuser’s mind. In this article I’m going to discuss 3 patterns of thinking that all  abusive husbands often have and in this way get a better understanding of why they act the way they do and consequently how to best handle them.

How Abusive Husbands Think

An abusive husband:

  1. Often assumes what his wife thinks or feels: This is especially true for an emotionally abusive husband. He might justify his actions by assuming that whether he does it or not, you would still think or feel the same way, so why not do it anyway. For example, if he doesn’t come home at night and just comes home in the morning, he might say something along the lines of: “You’ll just nag non-stop if I come home late, so I decided to just come home early...early in the morning.”

  2. Has an extremely rigid view towards gender roles: He may be expecting his wife to do all the household chores, take care of the bills, attend to the children, and take care of all his needs …all while her having a full time job. These expectations can be very hard for the wife to meet since some of these should actually be a shared responsibility between husbands and wives. He justifies his acts of abuse by blaming that his wife was not fulfilling her duties as a wife.

  3. Thinks his wife is hindering his success: One surprising reason why a husband abuses his wife is because he actually believes that he’s destined to be famous, rich, or achieve greatness and it’s his wife that is holding him back from making it a reality. He blames his wife for a “supposed” failure at realizing the success that he so believes should happen to him. He justifies the acts of abuse as a form of vindication or retaliation.

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