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How To Get A Guy To Approach You In A Bar

Want to know how to get a guy to approach you in a bar?
Beacuse you don't feel like you can just walk up and approach him?

Here's how to do it ...using a little bit of eye contact psychology.

A lot of women think that it’s as simple as making a passing glance – especially if they are fairly confident about themselves, but the truth is that this approach actually has a much lower success rate than you might think.

How low a success rate?

Well, a 1985 study showed that simply making eye contact with a guy, even if the woman is particularly attractive, has a success rate of less than 20% as far as getting the guy to approach the woman.

So if you think a particular guy could be worth getting to know the next time you are out in a bar or nightclub, you’ll need to do more than just eye-contact.

But I don’t feel confident enough to approach a guy?

The good news is - you don’t have to! According to the same study, there’s a way to increase the chances of getting the guy to approach you to as high as 60% …all without ever having to approach him and risk possible rejection. This method involves 2 steps:

  1. Multiple Eye-Contact: You have to make eye contact with the guy more than just once. This way you make the guy secure that he didn’t just imagine that you were looking at him or that it was an accident that you both happened to make eye-contact.

  2. Accompany Each Eye-Contact With A Smile: Eye-contact on its own is often not enough. Eye-contact just shows that you’re looking at him. It’s devoid of emotion in itself. You have to introduce emotion into the equation so that the guy knows you are looking at him because you like him and not just looking at him for what could be a multitude of other possible reasons. The way you do this is to accompany each glance with a smile.

Both elements of this method are important. Each one on its own would be hit and miss as to whether it would get the guy to approach you. However when both elements are combined together, both work in unicence together making each one stronger. 

Both of these elements basically work towards the one goal – removing his fear of rejection. If you want a guy to approach you, everything needs to be centered around removing his fear of rejection …because to many guys the fear of making a fool of himself often outweighs the possible benefits.

Fear Has Stronger Motivational Power Than Benefit

Fear is almost always a stronger motivation factor than benefit. So if his sense of fear is stronger than the sense of benefit he feels he would get from approaching you – he won’t approach you. Consider the following two statements in terms of which one is more likely to motivate you to brush your teeth:

  • If you brush your teeth, you will have nice clean teeth (benefit)

  • If you don’t brush your teeth, your teeth will fall out (fear)

The second statement is far more likely to make you want to brush your teeth because fear is a stronger motivation factor than benefit.

How To Get A Guy ...By Removing His Fear!

Many women dress provocatively when going to bars or nightclubs. The thing is, if your goal is to get a guy to approach you, you need to center things more around removing his fear of rejection (using the 2 step method here) …rather than displaying the benefits he could possibly get (by dressing provocatively). Otherwise (and although these figures are rough estimates) you’ll be down around the 20% chance success rate …rather than the much more effective 60% chance success rate.

Many women still live in the myth that men are always supposed to make the first move, but the truth is that in real life, most guys won’t approach a girl until they receive a whole lot of encouragement that it’s safe to approach her without getting instantly shot down.

So, in reality, it’s really the women who gives the initial signal that they want a particular man to approach them, and since men aren’t as receptive as women to unspoken communication, you’ll need to give off a whole lot of these signals by making constant, persistent eye contact coupled with a smile.

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