3 Ways The "No-Contact-Rule" Affects A Guys Mentality ...And Makes Him Want You Back
If you've read some of my articles on here, you'll know that after a breakup I advise that you cut all contact with the guy if you want him back. I go through this in more detail in my book “”. But basically it'll involve staying out of his life for the next 3 weeks.
It may not sound being proactive in the goal of trying to get him back, but taking a step backward is one of the first things you should do. Withdrawing from the situation gives things a chance to settle and calm down.
What exactly does the "no-contact-rule" achieve?
It works by affecting the guys mentality in the following three ways:
It gives him time to miss you: Our intuition tells us to fight the break up, but fighting it usually involves a high failure rate. It's a natural reaction to resist your man’s decision to end things. So, most women start promising that things will be different or swear to change for the better. They tell him just about anything and everything just to make him take them back. However, the thing is that your man wants time to be alone and away from you. That’s why he chose to break up with you. But he may not really want to be away from you permanently (and not yet realize this), and needs this time away from you to miss you in order to realize this.
It knocks his ego: Aside from the fact that your man expects you to resist the break up, he also expects you to chase after him. Wanting to feel desired is a part of human nature. When he knows you need him that much or that you miss him, it feeds his male ego. But what he underestimates is the fact that he'll also miss you after the break up. But you’ll only make him miss you if you keep yourself from contacting him in any shape or form. Give him enough space that he’ll drown in silence and feel the emptiness of not having you in his life.
It’s the opposite of what he’ll think you’ll do: Your withdrawal is absolutely the last thing that your man expects from you after the break up. This is the reason why this move is so effective. Curiosity will get the better of him the more silent you remain. The less your man knows about how you’re doing and what you’re up to, the more he will naturally want to know about you.
These are all designed to basically make him realize that it’s him who needs you more after all, not the other way around. And this is where the scene is set for the reconciliation process.
From this you should be able to see that you don’t have to force things to get your man back. More often than not, the best move is the one you least expect it to be.
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