Is it ok to ask my ex to be friends, if I was the one to do the dumping?
One of the key areas to consider when breaking up with someone, is the whole area of friendship after the breakup. If you were the one to do the dumping, ask yourself the following questions:
Do you want to remain friends with your ex simply as a coping mechanism to avoid feeling loss or grief?
Do you want to remain friends with your ex just in case you can’t find another partner or a better one and so your ex will act as a back up plan?
Do you want to remain friends because you secretly want to keep your ex "hooked" on you, and boost your ego?
Because of the emotional intensity of the situation, you should only really want to become friends with an ex for the right reasons as opposed to questionable motives.
But they don’t need to know anything about why I want to be friends with them?
Well look at it this way, certain aspects of your respective personalities clearly do not mesh …otherwise you’d still be together. So if you try force a friendship (where one doesn’t naturally fit) you could end up straining the relationship even further and become totally estranged from your ex for the very same reasons that you broke up with him or her.
Always keep in mind that there was a reason behind the breakup and it doesn’t change when the relationship is one of friendship. To make a friendship with an ex last, you should only enter it if you want it for genuine friendship reasons …and of course if your ex is happy to have one with you.
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