How To Survive A Break Up ...And The Consequent “Negative Thoughts”
Perhaps the biggest thing that makes it difficult trying to survive a break up is the fact your ego has been bruised. Some people find themselves scanning to see any flaws they have that may have caused them to be dumped. Some even put labels on themselves such as:
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"Loser"
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"Reject"
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“Worthless”
And this can only lead to depression.
Being able to survive a break up and come out the other side depends on how you handle these negative thoughts. The unusual truth is actually that your feelings of depression are misguided. They are resulting from you equating your worth and value to how much your ex loved you. This is the wrong approach to take in trying to survive a break up. So why does your mind think this way?
Everyone is brought up being told that if you are nice and behave well, then the world will like you. If you’re good, Santa clause will come etc. You've been programmed that you're only worthy once people like you and that if people don’t like you, then you are worthless.
This train of thought is what makes it difficult to survive a break up. In essence you were programmed to measure your self worth against whether people accept you or not. Therefore you give the key to your feelings and your moods to others.
Survive a break up by dealing with depression
A lot of people suffer some form of depression in trying to survive a break up. This is because they don’t deal with the break up in the correct manner. In my book "How to forget about someone in just a few days" I go through step by step the actions to take in order to survive a break up. With the correct knowledge, being able to survive a break up will be easy from now on.
It's important to realise that people are often dumped for reasons that are totally unrelated to them. Often it’s the person doing the dumping that has issues they need to fix. They may be:
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Afraid of serious relationships
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Unable to connect with people intimately or they
- May be looking blindly for someone to fulfil an unmet need they have etc
Survive a break up by examining your ex
In my book "How To Make Anyone Fall In Love With You Using Psychology" I show you how to unearth the needs that a person has in order to find out what they want in a partner. If you know what a person needs then you can mirror it back to them. You can show them that you're the person they want to be with. However sometimes peoples needs are unhealthy to match yourself to.
If a person was not shown much attention as a child, then they may look for a partner that will give them lots of attention now. It might be that your ex dumped you because you didn't fulfil some unmet need they have. Being aware of this makes it easier to survive a break up. Wanting someone based on an unmet need is not a healthy way to look for a partner. One should only want a partner because they love them and not to serve as a solution to personal issues they might have with themselves.
In order to survive a break up you must realise that you were dumped for reasons outside of your control and unrelated to you. Humans always look for logical reasons to situations they face. The incorrect approach to take in trying to survive a break up is trying to find something wrong with you that isn't there. Understanding this will make it much easier to survive a break up now and anytime again in the future.
Want more info about this topic?
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