Why Most Relationship Issues ...Are Actually Normal
Relationship issues are part and parcel of any relationship due to having two different personalities coming together trying to form the one bond. The thing about relationship issues is that if handled correctly they can actually make a relationship stronger.
If you and your partner can deal successfully with problems, it shows that you can overcome obstacles and this can give a deeper sense of meaning to your relationship.
In trying to solve relationship issues, communication is key. Its the backbone of any successful relationship and without it a relationship will slowly destruct.
What are the root cause of relationship issues?
Consider the following in terms of how they apply to your relationship situation:
-
Communication: Talking with one another about any relationship issues you may have is important. Even the fact you both are sitting down together and discussing the problems, helps the relationship enormously even before the issue at hand is dealt with. The opposite of communication is miscommunication. This is when you interpret your partners’ words and actions in a way that your partner never intended them to mean. If you find yourself having to deal with miscommunication, it means you haven't properly dealt with communication itself to begin with.
-
Compatibility: Compatibility is not necessarily how well you both happen to match each other before deciding to have a relationship. Compatibility can also be defined as how easily both partners adjust themselves to match each other once the relationship has started. You shouldn't adjust to the point where you are no longer the same person you were. You should only compromise enough so that you compliment each other better. Refusal of a partner to adjust at all can result in further relationship issues.
-
Commitment: Lack of commitment or perceived lack of commitment is amongst the most fatal of all relationship issues. If one partner believes that the other is not investing emotionally, it can cause that person to detach him or herself emotionally too. Crucially a perception of loss of interest by your partner can result in you pulling back and not getting involved. They don't actually HAVE to have lost interest. Here again good communication could have prevented this from occurring.
-
Trust: Jealousy or lack of trust will eat away at any relationship until nothing but a shell of the former relationship is left. I go through jealousy in detail on this website and the damaging effects it can have. The problem with jealousy and lack of trust is that these problems in themselves can destroy a relationship without any cheating or a third party being on the scene. Lack of trust is contrary to growing a strong emotional bond between you both.
-
Sex: This ties in with compatibility and how you both view sex. If either partner isn't happy sexually, they can be left feeling frustrated. Talk about what you both want and what you are willing to do to please each other. This can range from how often you do it to the various ways you do it. Sometimes talking about such issues can be difficult. However, leaving such a communication barrier in place between you both will only end up developing into another one of your relationship issues. You're not obliged to do everything your partner wants but just enough to satisfy rule number 2 above - compromise.
Relationship Issues And Love
In my book "How To Make Anyone Fall In Love With You Using Psychology" I go through the things you should do in relationships to ensure that your partner becomes emotionally tied to you and falls in love.
Relationship issues don’t mean that the relationship is doomed. Almost all relationship will encounter difficulties but its how you both deal with them that separates the healthy relationships from the unhealthy ones.
Note that I said BOTH. It’s important to understand that relationship issues need both people working to fix them. If just one person is working, then in essence they are only wallpapering over the issues and setting themselves up for an unhealthy relationship.
Was this helpful?
Yes, when is the time to seek counseling?
What are the things I need to watch out for signs of an impending breakup?
How do I develop my relationship building skills?
