How To Know If Someone Would Make A Good Partner - By Examining Their Psychological Makeup
Unhealthy relationships are often characterised by one person being in the relationship not because they love their partner but because they have personal issues and unmet needs that they feel the relationship can satisfy.
If you feel you don't love your partner or they don't love you, then you need to ask yourself why you got into the relationship in the first place.
In my book "", I go through the reasons a person gets into a relationship and falls in love. Knowing how and why a person falls in love is crucial in understanding unhealthy relationships and being able to get over them.
Reasons For Unhealthy Relationships
Things to watch out for in a potential partner include:
Fear Of Being Alone: Some people are so afraid of this that they can only feel safe if they are in some sort of a relationship. Notice I said "some sort of a relationship" Some unhealthy relationships are characterised by one person not being involved in the relationship or as caring as the other. If your partner is going out with you just for the "sake of having someone" then you know you need to think about leaving.
Externally Dependant People: Externally dependant people fall regularly in love. They depend on outside things to make them happy such as material objects but also relationships. If you fall often in love, it means you are this type of person. You'll always be looking to see what advantages a partner can bring you while being with them. This is the foundation of many unhealthy relationships.
Mis-Matched Lovemaps: To know why you started going out with your partner, you need to understand your subconscious and what it looks for in a partner. We all have in our mind, a subconscious list of the things we would like a future partner to be like. This is known as a person's lovemap and it is working away in the background and is what makes you fall in love with one person and not another. Its not "fate" that causes you to love someone, its your subconscious mind and how it interprets any new potential partner you come across. Knowing what’s working right and what’s working wrong in the specifications of your lovemap can show you how to avoid unhealthy relationships. I go through this in detail in the book " "
High Visual-Emotional People: These people place high value to things they perceive as good looking and low value to things that are bad looking. We all do this to a degree but some do it far more than others to the point they will pick a partner based solely on their looks. Again such a basis for a relationship is fraught with danger because if that partner met someone that was even better looking then their boyfriend/girlfriend, they would feel a high level of attraction to that new person.
And Remember, Unhealthy Relationships…
...Never get better on their own. They either need outside help or, if its gone beyond that, a break up. Unhealthy relationships only serve to drag your self confidence down.
If you understand and follow the above points you'll be in a much stronger position in future of being able to pick a good partner. One that will result in a healthy relationship and give you increased satisfaction in life rather than bring you down.
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