Skip to main content

You are in: The Getting An Ex Back Category (59 Articles)             

How One Of My Readers Successfully Implimented The "No-Contact-Rule" To Get Their Ex Back

One of the best ways to get your ex back, is through the use of the "no-contact-rule" ...which is essentially a reverse psychology technique. Let me share with you how reverse psychology worked for my friend, Marie, who was dumped by her boyfriend but got back together with him:

In the beginning of their relationship, she and her boyfriend were very happy. Everything was magical. That’s always the case when love has just blossomed in the hearts of two people. But then, things started to change after a few months. Marie started neglecting him. Her calls, text messages and visits to Marc became lesser. She had got comfortable with Marc to the point that she was no longer respecting him and their relationship but cancelled dates and nights out if she was the slighest bit tired or if there was something on the TV that night that she wanted to see.

Marc got tired of this and felt he was being disrespected. He believed that if this person really valued him, she wound find a way to make time for her. He just couldn’t handle the situation anymore so she decided to end the relationship. Marie begged him not to leave her but he felt he had been disrespected too much by her and questioned what kind of a relationship they'd end up having together if he was to stay with her long term.

What happened then?

Marie got in touch with me and explained the situation. To be honest, I had to side with Marc in the sense that she had indeed been disrespecting him ...and that this was something she needed to address.

First of all though, I advised her to stop all forms of communication with him ...which she did. Weeks passed and they still hadn’t been talking with each other. Marie thought of Marc all the time, but she wasn’t sure if he was still thinking about her too. She had urges to call him to ask him how he was ..but i told her to hold her ground.

Forum

So what did she do?

She lived her life. She went out with her friends. She tried to have fun. She acted as if everything was okay even though her heart was hurting (Later i found out that her friends had been telling Marc what she had been doing since their break up. He just couldn’t believe how she was surviving. He probably expected her to be all messed up but she was appearing to be doing just fine without him).

One afternoon, she was surprised to receive an sms from Marc. He asked her nonsense questions, probably just to get her attention. Again, i advised her not to respond to these.

Marie was then invited to a friend’s party where she knew Marc would be there. This was when we decided that this was going to be the ideal time to re-initiate contact.

At the party she noticed how he looked at her. It was as if he missed her. They got talking and Marie said she was sorry for the way she had treated him. He saw her sincerity ...and before the night was out, they were back together as a couple :-).

So what does this teach us about reverse psychology?

Did you notice how effective reverse psychology was for Marie? She still loved and thought of Marc but she did not call nor meet him. Instead, she got him thinking about her by making him feel that she was doing great without him.

When they broke up, Marie did not..

  • Go after her ex.

  • Dwell in the past.

  • Avoid people.

Instead, what she did was she…

  • Stopped communicating with her ex.

  • Moved on with her life.

  • Went out with her friends.

  • Exercised self-restraint.

Using reverse psychology may not be an easy task, but it can be done. It worked for Marie. It could also work for you.

Was that helpful?

Yes, are there any exceptions to the no-contact rule?

Why are the next 3 weeks following a break up so crucial to getting an ex back?

How much can relationship books that make bold claims be trusted?

How do I get over an ex by understanding the difference between conditional and unconditional love?

Why do some men find it difficult to commit?