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Is cheating a natural or a learnt behavior?

Finding out that a partner is having an affair has resulted in many marriage breakdowns. So why can some humans control themselves from having an affair, while others can't? First lets examine the concept of love itself. Biologically speaking, when a person falls in love, a set of chemicals are released into the body making you feel happy, excited and full of joy.

In time, these chemicals fade away and the feeling of love is felt instead though understanding and intimacy with your partner. When one partner meets someone new they find attractive and get talking to them, these same chemicals get released into the body again and may result in having an affair.

Getting this new rush of chemicals occurs whether or not the person is a "cheater". Its simple biology and most married individuals will at some point experience this rush of chemicals for someone other than their spouse. If a cheater gets into this situation, it will result in them having an affair. In contrast, an honest person will disregard these feelings and not think twice about having an affair.

Why "natural cheaters" are more likely to result in having an affair

When a cheater meets someone new they find attractive, the chemicals get released and the cheater confuses this with real love. He doesn't realize that what’s really happening is just a rush from these chemicals and that it will fade in time.

If a cheater doesn’t have the core values of trust and honesty - then them having an affair will be the likely outcome. Cheaters misinterpret these new feelings and make the assumption that they:

  1. Mustn’t be in love anymore with their wife

  2. Or that they love the new woman more than their wife

Essentially the people having an affair are thinking to themselves that they’re experiencing feelings that they don’t feel with their spouse. In reality this can be relayed as saying that they haven't experienced those strong feelings for their wife for a long time and its nice to experience them again with someone new.

Where a cheater gets confused is in thinking that these new feelings are something "special". They don’t realize that these chemicals will fade and by the time it happens their marriage could be beyond repair.

Preventing your partner from having an affair

So how can you prevent your partner from having an affair? Some cheaters spot that all they're doing is aimlessly chasing feelings and not the actual person themselves that they're having an affair with.

Having an affair only results when one or both partners don’t realize that the intense "butterflies in your stomach" feeling, that they felt initially, wont last forever. Intimacy and understanding for one another must grow. Understanding this concept is key.

In my book "THE LOVEMAP CODE: How To Make Someone Fall In Love With You Using Psychology" I show how to successfully build powerful rapport with someone to increase their attachment to you. Building a strong healthy relationship with good intimacy is key in making sure that neither partner ever ends up having an affair. Knowledge is power.

Need more help?

Yes, do men and women cheat for different reasons?

What are some tell-tale psychological signs that my spouse is cheating on me?

Is it normal to feel vengeful after discovering an affair?

Can serial cheaters ever be changed?

What is "the ripple effect" of cheating on your spouse?

 


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