4 Reasons Why Some Women Become So Controlling
(And how to control them back!)
Anytime someone displays a strong personality characteristic, it is a strong sign of something lurking in that persons past that has affected them in a strong way and which they haven’t been able to deal with.
For example, bullies are often bullies because they have been bullied themselves in their past and are now subsequently trying to bully others as a compensating mechanism to subconsciously prove to themselves that they are not weak but are in fact "strong enough" to bully someone else.
A woman who has a controlling personality type is NO DIFFERENT.
There is almost always something (or things) lurking in her past which has caused her to become a controlling woman. Reading this article will help you in handling a controlling woman more effectively because you will understand the underlying psychological causes that are causing her to be so controlling.
4 Hidden Things That Cause Some Women To Become Controlling
Taking the woman you have in mind right now, any of the following may apply in her situation:
- Insecurity Issues: People who are insecure often try to fight back against this insecurity by controlling something or someone. For example, a lot of people who have just been dumped will immediately jump into a rebound relationship to deal with the insecurity of having been dumped. The cause of controlling behavior can be similar. If a girl got cheated on once and lost her boyfriend, or was jilted by her friends in highschool and lost her friends, she may have a tendency now to control her boyfriend/husband in order to make sure that she doesn’t lose him ..just like she lost her boyfriend/friends in the past.
- Brainwashed With Feminism: The media can have a strong effect on the minds of people. One of the underlying tones in the media for a long time now is the push on women to “stand up and fight against men”. While it’s good to stand up and fight for equal rights, equal pay and so on, the constant bombardment with the message “stand up and fight against the male led world” can have a subconscious programming effect on some women that they must "dominate" men in some way rather than being equals with them.
- Controlled By Someone Else: If a woman felt like she was always being controlled in her past by people, she may have built up a self defence mechanism by which she uses controlling others as a means of preventing herself from ever being controlled again. Such a person will often exhibit stubbornness as a way of blocking the chance of ever being controlled again by someone, rather than actively appearing like a controlling person.
- Her Mother Was Controlling: When children grow up in a household, they have a tendency to assume that whatever way their parents behave, that that behavior is normal. This has major consequences for how they conduct future relationships. If a girl grows up seeing her mother bossing the husband of the house around, she will assume this is “normal” behaviour and can have a subconscious tendency to try to live up to this type of behaviour in her future relationships.
The problem with these 3 things is that they all stem from a negative area. And anything stemming from a negative area, when inserted into a future relationship with a guy, almost always has negative consequences for that relationship. Check out my article “4 Silent Ways A Controlling Personality Erodes A Relationship".
How To Control A Controlling Woman
They say you should fight fire with fire. But that is not always the best advice. If you attempt to put out a fire by introducing more fire, you will only make the situation worse. And this definitely applies to dealing with a controlling woman.
If you try to deal with a controlling woman by attempting to control her back, you will only aggravate the underlying cause(s) that has made her a controlling individual in the first place. She will at this stage either become broken by those underlying causes (consequently making them worse), or she will leave you in order to find a man who she can control.
So rather than aggravating the underlying causes of her controlling behaviour, you need to find a way of neutralizing those causes in order to make them less of an aggravating factor in her psyche.
Let's take an example...
For example, if you feel there is some insecurity hidden in her psyche that is causing her to be controlling, you need to find a way of neutralizing that insecurity. If you know she was cheated on once and this affected her and might be the cause of her controlling behavior, you should make the extra effort to display to her how much you hate cheaters. The way you might introduce this into a conversation might go something like this:
“One of my work colleagues, Steve, cheated on his girlfriend. How sick is that? I hope she leaves him. As for the other woman, she can’t be much of a woman if she was willing to sleep with another girls man.”
Here you are indirectly communicating to your girlfriend/wife that you despise cheaters and recognise the negative consequences of cheating. You will be helping to indirectly alleviate an insecurity in her that is aggravating her controlling behaviour.
You will need to study your girlfriend/wife to find out what it is exactly that has caused the controlling behaviour in the specific situation of your girlfriend/wife. This will take some effort on your part but its absolutely necessary to ensure the long-term viability of your relationship.
In my book "", I include a bonus manual that shows you how to analyse the personality type of a dominant controlling personality type individual in order to neutralize this behavior and make them fall in love with you.