The #1 Psychological Trick To Stopping People Who Use You (And Who Use Others)
Do you want to know how to stop a person from using you?
And taking advantage of you?
In order to stop a person from using you, you first need to understand a very basic fact about people who use others. People who use others almost always suffer from some psychological issue or unmet need that is causing them to use other people. Such issues can include:
- Lack of control in their life
- Lack of ability in some area of their life
- Narcissistic tendencies
- Compensation for past inferiority
- Insecurity issues
Check out my article “5 Psychological Problems People Who Use Others Suffer From” for more information on these. People that use others often suffer from one or more of these issues and have been unable to deal with them. They then try to use or control other people as a compensatory mechanism to deal with the underlying issue.
All this usually happens at the subconscious level, meaning they will use other people …all without ever really knowing why they have this need to do so.
For example, bullies often try to bully, use or control other people in order to compensate for a past inferiority that they were not able to deal with. This often involves the bully having been bullied themselves in their past and they were not able to deal with it then. They then try to compensate for this by bullying, using or controlling other people.
How To Use This Information On Someone Who Is Using You
People who use others might not be consciously aware of the underlying psychological problem(s) that is causing their need to control others (as outlined above). However, their subconscious mind is almost always aware of it ...even if the person themselves is not aware of it.
In order to block a person from using you, if you find that the person who is using you suffers from any of the above points …try saying it to them. If someone is trying to use or control you, ask them:
- If they were ever controlled by someone in their past and is that why they are controlling you?
- Do they feel a lack of control in some area of their life and that is why they are trying to control you?
- Are they using you only because they are unable to do things on their own?
People who try to use others will HATE this.
Why This Is So Effective
Doing the above exposes the emotional wound that is causing them to try to control other people. And people hate having their emotional wounds pointed out to them by other people. People like to think that these are things that only they themselves know about ...and no one else.
Most controlling people will back off from a person who is able to expose such an emotional nerve hidden in their psyche. In addition, doing this demonstrates to the person that you are not so easily controlled. In fact, you are in a way more in control of them than they are of you because you are able to know their weaknesses that have caused them to have a need to control others.
Just be warned though, such a person is unlikely to want to be friends with you afterwards.
Therefore, how you handle the situation will depend on your exact friendship with the person in question. For example, if the situation is that the person who is using or controlling you is your boyfriend/girlfriend …you may want to keep them as a boyfriend/girlfriend but simply have them stop controlling or using you.
In which case, a softer approach would be more appropriate.
How To Stop A Boyfriend/Girlfriend From Using You …But Still Keep Them
As you can see, people who use others have a psychological unmet need hidden somewhere in their psyche. Therefore, if you can find a way of helping that person deal with this unmet need, you will be able to lessen their need to compensate for the unmet need. In effect, you will be able to remove the problem that is causing them to become controlling in the first place.
For example, if the problem is an insecurity issue, then you need to find ways of removing that insecurity from their life. In my book “” I include a bonus manual that shows you how to analyse the personality of a person in order to find out that persons:
- Unmet needs
- And weakness etc.
It then provides easy-to-implement examples on how to indirectly satisfy these unmet needs in the persons life so as to not only fix these issues in the persons life …but do so in a way that the person will be subconsciously drawn to you as a mechanism for fixing problems in their life.
Not only will this lessen their dependency on needing to use and control others as a compensation mechanism, but it also builds up an emotional bond in them for you ...inducing love in them towards you. And all without them even realizing why they are becoming so emotionally attached to you.
When you know what it is that is causing the person to feel a need to control and use other people …it takes the control out of their hands and right into yours.