Skip to main content

You are in the: How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back article section             

How To Get Your Boyfriend Back - By Removing Neediness

How to make someone fall in love with you

If you have just been dumped and want to get your boyfriend back, you'll have to address the way you are coming across to your boyfriend right now. The problem is that you're probably feeling more depressed right now than you ever have been before. You might have:

  • Skipped meals as you just couldn't get the food inside you

  • Stayed in your room or on the couch watching non-stop TV

  • Stopping and starting crying repeatedly when you are on your own etc

While it's good to let some emotion out, the problem is that when you're in the above state you're even less attractive to your boyfriend then you had been when you were actually going out with him. In this needy state you have practically zero chance of being able to get your boyfriend back.

(NOTE: To discover how to win your ex boyfriend back before he starts dating another girl, check out my book "THE LOVEMAP CODE: How To Make Someone Fall In Love With You Using Psychology".)

Your boyfriend is the "prize" in your eyes at the moment and this is the opposite to how you should be viewing him. If you think he is the prize he will almost certainly see that you think this way and it makes being able to get your boyfriend back that much more difficult.

Get your boyfriend back by NOT pursuing him

The problem is that if you pursue your boyfriend too much after the break up it only puts pressure on him and pushes him further away. It also reduces your value in his eyes because it makes you look easy.

To get your boyfriend back, you have to lose the desperate needy version of you that you have been showing to him since the break up and regain the old confident you. First, i want you to get a piece of paper. On it, write down 10 or more things about yourself that you like. They could be:

  • Your hair

  • Your intelligence

  • Your education

  • Your social life

  • Your family life etc.

Physically writing down these things makes them more concrete to you rather than just listing them off in your head. It also has the benefit of showing things that you don't like about you because you didn't put them on the list.

To build your self confidence, you should take the one thing you're not happy about most and work strenuously on fixing that.

How confidence can get your boyfriend back

Right now, your ex boyfriend will be looking to see if he was correct in dumping you. He needs that validation and the only place he can get it from you and how you respond to the break up. If you break down and become hopeless it shows to him that he was right to dump you because look at how emotionally unsound you are.

There’s also an ego issue driving your ex right now. No one wants to break up with their partner only to see their ex completely ok with the break up. He wants to know he had the power to make you feel heartbroken and lost. If however you show yourself to be strong and confident after the break up it will actually serve to increase his insecurity rather than increase his ego.

As dirty as it sounds, to get your boyfriend back, you want to ensure he stays in a vulnerable state for the next couple of weeks, while you do some work on inducing feelings of love in him for you. I go through this in my book "THE LOVEMAP CODE: How To Make Someone Fall In Love With You Using Psychology". To get your boyfriend back, you need to take away the control he has right now so that things are on a level playing field again for you to get him back.

Need more help?

Yes, what should I do to compliment my plan during the "no-contact period?"

Do I really love him or do I just love being with him?

How do I use the psychology of love to make him fall in love with me?

How do I match someone's lovemap specifications?

What is the difference between infatuation and love?