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Why did he lose interest in me so quickly?

Picture the following scenario:

  • You meet someone new

  • They seem to really like you

  • You like this and begin to feel something back for them

  • You go from liking them to possibly loving them

  • You begin to reciprocate the show of affection they are showing you

  • BANG! …they don’t want to see you anymore.

This is without doubt one of the most confusing (and heartbreaking) things that can happen to someone.

And aside from the shock of being dumped just when you’re beginning to like/love the person, something like this can really knock your confidence going forward ...when trying to connect with someone new in the future.

So what just happened?

So why do some people lose interest just when the other person begins liking them back? Well, there are a number of reasons why this can happen:  

  1. Devaluation: It may seem childish (actually cross that out, it IS childish), but some people can devalue you in their mind the moment you begin showing interest back at them. It’s like initially you were a challenge to them …but now you’re not. Unfortunately some people are immature like this. The good thing however is that if someone breaks it off with you for this reason, then you should look at this for what it is – you’ve lost someone that’s immature. And that’s a GOOD thing. Someone that’s immature is not the kind of person you want to begin a relationship and possible future marriage with.

  2. They were simply seeking approval: Some people have a need for approval. This need can generally be traced back to the persons childhood. If they were brought up in a household where they were neglected or if they didn’t make many friends in school …it can instil in the person a need to seek approval from people in their adult life. The problem with seeking approval in and of itself is that when you show that approval back at him …it is only then that he begins to question if he actually likes you. If he does like you – a relationship can blossom. But if he sees some incompatibility between you both – you'll find yourself being dumped.

  3. You didn’t match their Lovemap: It could be that, subconsciously, they saw something in you that violated their Lovemap. It may have been something you said or something you did.  Whatever it was, if it violated their Lovemap, it would automatically be set up in their mind as a bar to them ever being able to love you …and this is why they dumped you.

  4. You arrived in the middle of something complicated: The reality is that when someone gets dumped, they may never find out the real reason why it happened. It could be that the other person was “on a break” with their boyfriend/girlfriend when they began showing interest in you …and now that relationship has resumed and they no longer want to be with you.

So what do I do? I want them back!!

Of the four reasons outlines above, no.4 is the most tricky to overcome. This is because his heart will have been somewhere else all the while he was chasing after you and showing interest in you. And when this is the case, his subconscious will never have had an opportunity to be programmed on you.

If it’s the case that in your situation you are sure there is no one else on the scene, then you CAN still get him back. This is because the other three reasons above can be easily overcome ...once you have the right knowledge. 

In my book “THE LOVEMAP CODE: How To Make Someone Fall In Love With You Using Psychology” …I show how to make someone fall in love with you by overcoming each of those three obstacles. Not only does it show how to make him fall in love with you …but do so in a manner that ensures he will never want to break up with you again. 


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