Skip to main content

You are in the: How To Get Your Ex Back article section            

What do I do if my ex contacts me for their stuff during the “no-contact-period”?

Before I answer that, let me paint a picture to you. In the immediate aftermath of a breakup, you are now separate individuals. But despite this, you’re both still on each others mind. They’ll be thinking of you, such as:

  • What you’re doing?

  • Were they right to dump you

  • Wondering if they've really made the right decision?

  • Are you suffering or not?

You on the other hand, …well, we know how you’re feeling. You just can’t get the whole thing out of your mind and there’s probably a hundred thousand different things running through your mind right now.

The thing is though, that whatever you’re both thinking about right now, one thing is definite: you’re both still essentially thinking of each other. And this is something you can build upon.

How do you mean?

Well, as I advise in my book “THE LOVEMAP CODE: How To Make Someone Fall In Love With You Using Psychology”, you need to cut off all communication with your ex for 3 weeks after the breakup (See my article: Why the next 3 weeks are so crucial).

The 3 weeks is basically about causing your ex miss YOU. You want to cut off all communication with your ex while at the same time making sure you're still in their periphery. This creates the ideal situation of depriving your ex of being able to chat with someone that was a major part of their life ...while at the same time preventing them from moving on happily with their life.

A good way to ensure this is to not take your personal belongings back from their place and to hold onto any stuff you have which belongs to them. You want your ex to still have your stuff during the cut off period. You want to let these reminders of you around their home so they'll have constant reminders of you niggling at them.

What does this achieve?

This achieves two things:

  • There will be physical reminders of you in their home making them think of you.

  • The fact your stuff is still in their possession almost contradicts the reality that a break up has occurred and so a psychological bond between you both remains.

If your ex offers you your stuff back, make up some excuse that you can't collect it now but will later. If they say that a friend will take it round to you, tell your ex you have no room for it that day but you will be making room soon and to bring it over then.

This creates the effect of remaining psychologically tied together in the immediate aftermath of the breakup which is the exact time they will be missing you most …and dreading being back as a single person again. In other words, it’ll make them think about and miss you even more than they otherwise would do. This sets a fertile scene when you re-initiate contact again after 3 weeks have past.

Need more info about this topic?

Yes, can relationship books that make big claims be trusted?

How should I behave when meeting my ex after the 3-week cut off period?

How do I behave after this cut-off period?

Should I examine my communication style so I can get my ex back?

How do I deny my ex's sexual power over me so I can win her back?