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How To Get Over An Emotional Scar...Using The Power Of Forgiveness

Many people seem to underestimate the power of forgiveness. When someone does them wrong, they don’t feel the need to forgive the person. Indeed, it is quite a challenge to forgive and let go of past hurts. And you have the right to feel resentment. However, you should know that this can hinder you from achieving peace and true happiness.

Forgiveness can be simply defined as a personal choice to let go of all the negative emotions resulting from a real or perceived offense against you. But this doesn’t mean that the offensive act is justified or that the offender is no longer accountable for it when you give your forgiveness. You are only choosing not to let the negative emotions define your life.

Utilizing The Power Of Forgiveness

The following steps will help you learn to forgive and let go:

  1. Acknowledge what hurt or offended you: Although we are inclined to ignore or deny the occurrence of a hurtful action, it is much healthier to just admit that it did happen. Ponder on how you reacted to it and its effect on your well-being. By doing so, you’ll be able to express what was unacceptable about the other person’s action.

  2. Look for a broader perspective on what took place: As difficult as it may seem, make an effort to understand why the other person committed the offense. What was his or her reason and was it intentional or not? If you find out it was intentional, using what is known in psychology circles as “Reframing” would be very helpful. For example, instead of thinking that the other person deliberately did it to hurt you, think that it was done because he or she was thinking it will ease his or her own pain. Going through the process of trying to understand and keeping an open mind can shed new light on the issue. And help lessen your hurt feelings so you can start the process of forgiving.

  3. Work through your emotions: It’s not only the offense that you need to acknowledge, but also the emotions you feel because of it. You must also learn to manage stress brought about by these emotions. You can achieve this using stress relief exercises such as doing deep breathing exercises, yoga, or meditation. Writing a journal, talking to a friend, or seeking a counselor is also very helpful. There are different coping strategies you can use. For men, seeing forgiveness as a challenge or a goal yields positive results. While for women, learning to accept, understand, and have compassion leads to forgiveness.

  4. Commit to let go and move on: Forgiveness is not only needed by those who committed the offense for their peace of mind. You also need to forgive for your own well-being. Holding grudges is never healthy and can impede your personal growth. Forgiving someone who has deeply hurt you may take time, so take it one step at a time. Focus on the benefits of forgiveness instead of focusing on the pain. Leave the past behind and live in the present.

  5. Get professional help if you need it: If forgiving is too difficult for you even after some time, then you should seriously consider seeking a therapist. Some people, especially those who have experienced trauma because of the offending act, find it more difficult to forgive. However, you will never truly be at peace and move on with your life until you learn to forgive.

The power of forgiveness ultimately releases you from all the hurt and not let your present be consumed by your past. Don’t deprive yourself of peace of mind and the chance to live life happily. As long as you’re not able to forgive, you’ll be carrying the burdens of negative emotions with you. So, in the end, it’s not only the offender that suffers, but also you.

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