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How To Control Emotions After A Breakup When You Are Still In Love

When trying to get over someone, being able to control your emotions can mean the difference between getting over them in a short space of time …or YEARS.

…and I’m guessing you don’t want to be the latter.

Everyday I get emails from people who can’t stop thinking about their ex and reliving the painful emotions of the breakup over and over again in their minds.

In this article, I want to demonstrate in a methodical way the sequence of events that cause a person to keep thinking about their ex after a breakup …so that you can see the EXACT steps in that sequence that you need to control in order to get over your ex quickly.

What is this sequence of events?

In order to know how to control your emotions, you must first understand how emotions are created in the first place…

  1. External Event Occurs: This is an event that triggers your mind to go from one emotional state to another. For example, you might be riding the bus one day and thinking about a work related matter …when all of a sudden a song comes on the bus radio that causes you to forget about what you were thinking of …but instead causes you to start thinking about your ex.
  2. Your Self-Talk Is Launched: Thinking of your ex causes you to start thinking about the breakup again.
  3. Your Emotions Are Launched: Thinking about this causes you to feel upset and depressed again.
  4. Your Choice: At this stage you have a choice. At this stage you can either control the emotions you are feeling …or you can give in to them by continuing to think about your ex and making yourself feel even more depressed.

Now, there are two points in the above sequence that allow you to intercede and prevent yourself from feeling bad and thinking about your ex for the rest of the day.

Which two points?

They are at the self talk stage and at the choice stage.

At the self talk stage, you can control the emotion from being launched in the first place. At the choice stage, you can control the emotion that has been launched …from growing any further.

Both stages offer the opportunity of eliminating the problem which occurred by hearing the song that reminded you of your ex. Not only that, but if you practice the emotional control involved in both of these steps …it becomes easier and easier to control in the future to the point that you no longer need to practice it but instead it becomes automatic.

How do I control these two stages?

Here’s the thing…

There is a right and wrong way to control the self talk stage …and there is a right and wrong way to control the choice stage.

For example, controlling emotions in the wrong way can cause them to bottle up and become even stronger. What you need to do is control them in a way that allows them to die. This is what makes the difference between people who can get over a breakup quickly …and those that still think about their ex YEARS after the breakup has occurred.

This is what I show how to do in my book THE ERASE CODE: How To Get Over Anyone In Less Than A Week Using Psychology.  I show how to control the above two stages in the CORRECT manner. I go through a number of techniques on how to push thoughts of your ex straight out of your mind the moment they enter it. I also show a number of techniques on how to control already existing emotions and reassign different emotions to the memories you have your ex using NLP.

Using these methods, you can get over your ex in a significantly shorter space of time than would otherwise be the case.


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