How To Deal With A Break Up - By Reducing Dependence
Want to know how to deal with a break up?
But feel like your ex meant too much to you to be able to get over them?
If so, you may be suffering from over-dependence. Here's what you need to do...
Some people fail to deal with a break up properly and actually make things worse than they need to be. Losing their partner can often result in the person stopping taking care of themselves like they had done in the relationship.
They let the breakdown of the relationship get on top of them and start engaging in destructive behaviour without taking any steps to lift themselves out of their depression.
To understand why a break up can destroy other parts of your life, you must first understand that your life is made up of a number of different areas. These areas include:
- Social life
- Hobbies and interests
- Romantic relationships
- Health etc
These are key areas in any persons life but some people attribute too much importance to some areas while neglecting others. If one of your major areas gets damaged what happens is that it can affect the other areas of your life too.
So how does this help me deal with a break up?
In trying to deal with a break up, its important to realise that relationships are important but if you attribute too much importance to them, you run the risk of becoming too dependent on them. I know a guy that was an engineer and he got laid off about 6 months ago. Here is his story.
All he ever spoke about was engineering, about the form and structure of that and this building etc. His career was the most important thing in his life. However after being unemployed for 3 months I noticed he started taking less care of himself. He stopped taking care of his body and put on weight.
He also lost interest in socializing and stopped going out with friends as much. Because he had attributed so much to his career, being out of work caused him to lose hope. He had equated living a fulfilling life to having a good career. Once his career struggled he thought his life couldn't be a happy and fulfilling one and so he neglected the other areas of his life which in turn only made him feel worse.
Deal with a break up by understanding importance and hope
If you are like the above guy but you're trying to deal with a break up, you should ensure you are taking care of other areas of your life so as to make sure you don't become more depressed. If you become active in these other areas, your subconscious will attribute more importance to these areas and less and less importance to your ex.
You may still feel you've lost hope as a result of losing your ex but you can restore this hope by understanding that your ex is replaceable. If you're thinking things like they were:
- "The one"
- "Soul mate"
- “We were meant to be together”
- “It was fate” etc
then I strongly recommend reading my book "". It makes trying to deal with a break up much easier than struggling through it on your own.
How to deal with a break up by realising they weren't "the one"
In the book I go through how there is no such thing as "the one" in life. I also show that the real reason you feel sad after a break up is not because you miss your ex but because your future is unclear right now. If you don't have any good potential partners available to you, it can leave you with a sense of hopelessness which you incorrectly attribute to your ex being important.
To deal with a break up successfully, you will need to restore this hope while also working on the other areas of your life to bring up their level of importance to you.
After you've read the book you will know not to give too much weight to your relationships in future making them healthier for you and you being less dependant on them. It will make trying to deal with a break up much easier on you and less damaging to your mental health and emotions.
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