How NOT To Deal With A Breakup (Readers Mistake)
Want to know how to deal with a breakup?
Here's a useful piece of advice you might want to keep in mind...
Last week, I received a letter from a woman reader desperate to ease her pain after her breakup. She felt she had done everything possible to get her ex out of her mind but she was still suffering deeply from the breakup. She said she had:
Stopped contact with him
Stopped texting and chatting online
Dumped his photos etc.
but all to know avail. She still couldn't get him out of her mind and wasn't able to deal with the breakup. She still found herself daydreaming about him and thinking about him for hours.
These were good ideas and it was clear she had taken some of my advices online but she had missed one key element - the manner in which she thought about him. A big mistake people make when trying to deal with a breakup.
So i need to change the way i think about them?
It's important to get rid of anything that reminds you of your ex because this tells your subconscious mind that you're relationship is truly over. But you can't get rid of all your exs stuff around you and then still continue thinking of them fondly. This wont help you deal with the breakup healthily. You need to get rid of
AND those thoughts in your mind.
Your subconscious mind has to have proof that you are moving on by both what it sees you doing physically and knowing that you’re not thinking of them fondly.
It you daydream about getting back together with your ex, your subconscious will not let you deal with your broken heart because of the contradicting messages its receiving form you. Daydreaming about all the great times you had together causes you to remember those good feelings your ex and you had and only make you want them back more and your subconscious mind in return wont let you forget about them. It stops you from dealing with the breakup.
Ok, we aren't machines and it's impossible to not think of youre ex every so often. However the problem arises if you feed these thoughts and let them grow. When people realise they wont get something they really really wanted, it causes angst. The opposite is true in dealing with a breakup. When you realise its definitely all over, a weight is lifted and you can recover properly.
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