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How To Forget Someone You Love Who Hurt You

How could he hurt me like that!
How could she cause me so much pain!
Have you been hurt by someone you love?

Being hurt by someone you love is rough. Very rough. You were both such good friends, how could things have changed that they got rid of you and hurt you like this?

Often people ask this question when trying to get over someone but they almost never examine to see if whether the person DELIBERATELY caused them hurt ...or actually if its just their lack of being able to grasp the bigger picture. Because just because someone hurt you, it doesn't mean they MEANT to hurt you. 

Lets try a quick exercise to illustrate this point...

Let's make a comparison to trying to get over your ex. Stand up close to the front of your house. You'll probably find yourself looking at a wall or other small detail. Next, back up a little and what do you see? You will realize that this wall is just a small component of a house. Step back further and walk around the house. Now you have a better perspective of the house and of its design and layout. In other words you can now see the bigger picture.

The big reason a person finds it difficult to get over their ex is because they feel hurt as a result of seeing only a certain component of the situation. They don’t realize that if they looked at the bigger picture, they would view the situation they are in, in a completely different light.

So I must look at things differently?

Yes! The way you're looking at your situation now is not helping you get over them. Otherwise you would be over them by now.

For example, why does another driver start shouting at you if your own car was about to hit his in a parking lot? He must be mad, right? And perhaps he should go to anger management classes?

No!

He shouts at you out of fear. Behind any anger is fear. Understanding that things are not what they appear on the surface is key in trying to get over a breakup. The other driver would shout loudly at you out of the fear of having his car scratched and the hassle of getting it fixed. So the driver was doing one thing as a means of expressing something else.

The individual was shouting out of fear rather than anger. How does this help you in trying to get over someone? I'm not trying to tell you that if someone shouts at you that you mustn’t have any emotions about it, but understanding the bigger picture of things will significantly reduce the negative sentiment you feel about any negative situation including trying to get over a bad breakup.

Reduce Your Sensitivity To Reduce Your Hurt

Never judge a situation by looking at one wall of it - see the complete building. In trying to get over someone you loved, take a look at that pesons:

  • Background,
  • Their relationships
  • And family history

…to try and get a better understanding of the person before you go and judge them. Doing this will let you see if they intended to cause you hurt or not or was there actually something else at play.

Emotionally sensitive individuals often get hurt and find it difficult in trying to get over someone, due to not seeing other peoples real intentions. This is true in lots of situations they encounter. It’s difficult to become less sensitive. However, you will be able to reduce the hurt you feel by having a wider vision and by understanding that the picture is bigger than what you see of it.

Need more help?

What do I need to ask myself if I'm trying to get over a break up?

How do I get over a guy by removing him as "the prize?"

How do I use lovemaps to get my ex boyfriend back?

What questions should I ask to uncover someone's lovemap?

What did she really mean when she said, "she needed time to herself?"


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