Skip to main content

You are in the: How To Get Over Someone article section               

How To Get Over An Ex By Taking Them Off Their Pedestal As The Prize

One of the things that can make it hard to get over an ex is that because they were the one to dump you, you're left feeling down while in your mind your ex is on a pedestal where you think of them as "the prize". Its always the one who does the dumping that's up on a plinth after the break up while the other is left looking up admiring them and hoping to get back up there with them.

To get over an ex, you need to remove this mental image of your ex as being "the prize" and replace it with the reality of what they really are - just another person that can be replaced. You may not have a replacement right now, but you will get one.

Often, one of the reasons it’s hard to get over someone is not because you miss the person themselves, but rather because you're future right then seems uncertain. If you had another option right now, better than your ex, you would happily go with him and get over your ex much quicker and easier.

You Must Examine The Real Person Your Ex Is

You may not have another option available to you so quick after the breakup. However, this doesn't mean you can't get over your ex easily. What you should do is work on removing the idea of them as "the prize" in your mind. An exercise I strongly recommend to achieve this is to:

  • Get a piece of paper
  • Write down 10 things you disliked about your ex
  • Fold it and keep it inside your wallet or pocket
  • Take it out on the hour every hour for a week and read it

What this does is it re-programs your mind to take your ex off their pedestal by making you dislike your ex rather than thinking of them in a positive light and longing for them. Things you can write down can range from:

  • They neglected to put on deodorant sometimes
  • They ate noisily
  • Their dress sense was boring
  • They're just a player etc

Seeing these things written down rather than just thinking about them makes them more concrete to your subconscious. This way you can see it more clearly that the idealized version you hold of your ex is actually false.

Slowly You You Will Begin To See Your Options Widen

After you've done this exercise for a few days you will begin to feel your ex's grip loosening on you. If you do it successfully, you'll actually begin to feel relieved that the relationship is over and that it didn't go long term or ended up with both of you settling down together.

The exercise also helps get over someone because it makes it easier to see other options available to you. This is because these other options no longer have to complete with the idealized version of your ex. Such a version would be very hard to match or better which is why so many rebound relationships fail.

However, doing the above exercise makes you look at your ex and the relationship in its correct perspective. I go through the full set of ways to get over someone in my book "THE ERASE CODE: How To Get Over Anyone In Less Than A Week Using Psychology". Suffice to say, the more you do to take control of the situation, the easier it will be to get over your breakup.

Want to know more?

Yes, how can I get over him by removing our past together?

How do I survive a break up by understanding the "myths of love?"

How can I get over a break up by managing my thought processes?

Why do some men find it difficult to commit?

How long does love last for?