How To Get Over Someone You Can’t Have – Approach VS Avoidance Coping Mechanisms
How to get over someone you can’t have
Wanting someone you can’t have
Loving someone you can’t have
I am not going to give you my opinion on how to get over someone you can’t have. Opinions are not of much use in getting over someone you can’t have because different people have different opinions.
Instead I’m going to show you how you can get over someone using scientific and psychological principals and techniques. This is the only sure-fire way to guarantee that that person is removed from your mind FOREVER.
The first thing you need to understand is this…
Most “experts” or “gurus” who give advice on getting over someone you can’t have don’t understand the psychological basis that governs recovery from ALL undesirable events in life (such as wanting someone you can’t have for example). There are two main processes …one of which is correct and one of which is simply wrong.
Lets’ now take a closer look at these…
The 2 Coping Processes To Stop Loving Someone You Can’t Have
The two processes are known as:
- Avoidance Processes: Avoidance processes are essentially all about avoiding the problem at hand. It’s like burying your head in the sand in the hope that the problem will just go away. It involves using distractions like going out with friends, or occupying yourself with things to take your mind off your situation …without actually tackling your situation and facing it. It involves the dark path of giving in to escapisms such as drinking, drugs, and comfort eating etc. Avoidance processes also involve avoiding the person you can’t have and the places you used go together (if you actually went out with this person) …thus only burying the problem for today before it inevitably resurfaces again later. You’ll know if you’re engaging in avoidance processes if you refuse to examine yourself. You blame your emotional state directly on the situation or the person you can’t have …without looking at areas of your own life that might be contributing to your current emotional state.
- Approach Processes: Approach processes, on the other hand, involve actively seeking out positive ways to get over your current situation. It’s the pro-active approach if you will. It involves seeking help …which is effectively what you are doing by reading this article (and this website) and then following through and implementing its techniques in your situation. Approach processes also involve logical analyses of both you and your current situation so you can see just how skewed your current thinking may be. In addition, approach processes are about re-examining the situation so that you’re not just viewing the situation from your current perspective, but rather from a number of different angles that allow you to see things more clearly.
Here’s What You NEED To Do…
If you are in love with someone you can’t have and want to get over them PERMANENTLY, you must only be implementing approach processes. Implementing avoidance processes (or even a mix of the two) will only give you short term relief …and at the end of the day still leave you with the same problem.
A lot of people naturally turn to avoidance processes to get over someone they love because they are the easiest to do. After all, it’s easier to bury your head to a problem, then to actively examine and work on fixing the way you are feeling. And these are the people that end up missing (and pining for) someone they still love months and EVEN YEARS down the line.
And that is NOT pretty.
In my book “” I reveal how to stop loving someone you can’t have. This can be done by ANYONE simply by implementing a powerful set of approach coping mechanisms which I reveal in the program for the first time. I also reveal how to avoid falling into the trap of using avoidance mechanisms.
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