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How To Get Over Someone You Love - By Understanding Conditional Vs Unconditional Love

To understand if your situation involves true love (or unconditional love as it is also called) we need to understand what true love actually is. True love can be defined as love for a person that isn't the result of:

  • Unmet needs
  • Being a love addict
  • Or need for compensation

True love is the kind of love you have for a person when you only want good things for him/her even if these things result in pain for you. It’s like a mother willing to sacrifice clothes or jewellery etc that she’d love to have, just so that she can get a toy her child has been talking about.

Yes, I had unconditional love for them!

Well, lets examine this further. The reality is that true love or unconditional love is love that has no conditions attached to it. It's love that involves wanting what's best for your partner even if these things result in pain for you.

So lets say for instance that your ex now started going out with someone else and they were happier with this person than with you - would you be happy for them? After all if you love them, don’t you want what’s best for them and makes them happy?

If your case of love is like most people - then you will not be happy that your ex has found more happiness with another guy or girl. Quite the contrary actually, as I’m sure you'd prefer to see them unhappy and miserable with someone else because they dumped you. And you might even like to see them suffer because they made you suffer. This is not unconditional love - it's conditional love.

So what would be considered a healthy relationship?

Healthy relationships are not defined by one or both partners trying to satisfy an unmet need but rather are defined on the sole satisfaction of being truly in love with the other person. The relationship makes both partners happy but they don't DEPEND on the relationship for their happiness.

In my book “THE ERASE CODE: How To Get Over Anyone In Less Than A Week Using Psychology” I go through the exact things you need to watch out for before entering a new relationship in the future after a breakup. You will understand the brainwashing people undergo in life from the media and therefore have more realistic expectations of what any relationship will be like in the long term.

More importantly (with regard to your current situation) you will have the advantage of being able to get over any breakup in a much quicker space of time than most people can.

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