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How To Let Go Of An Ex Quickly Using Classical Conditioning

Want to know how to let go of an ex?
Or let go of someone you love?
ESPECIALLY those repeated thoughts you keep having of them?

First I want to make a comparison to letting go of an ex. When a person gives up a habit like smoking they go through a difficult time initially getting used to not having this comfort around. The initial period is always the toughest but as time passes eventually the person gets accustomed to not smoking and feels much better with their new lifestyle.

One big reason initially the person can find it difficult to give up the habit is that everything around him reminds him of the bad habit he's trying to give up, such as tea breaks at work when he used to have a cigarette, the local shop he used buy cigarettes, his general manner of thinking and so on.

I make the comparison with bad habits in this article because they describe the same feelings a person suffering from a broken heart is going through. People experience suffering thinking about the other person that broke up with them. Both giving up a bad habit and forgetting about an ex takes time. The reason it takes time? Most people don't know how to handle it effectively and they adopt a bad response to the situation and don’t recover quickly from that breakup.   

Anchors Prevent You From Letting Go Of An Ex

In my book “THE ERASE CODE: How To Get Over Anyone In Less Than A Week Using Psychology” I show how to get over someone by showing how people naturally develop, in their mind, anchors or associations between two events that they experience. This is known as classical conditioning. When one association occurs in daily life, the memory of the other thing is immediately triggered

An example of this is the person giving up smoking. They would initially find it difficult every morning at work during the break because he used to have a cigarette then. He would have over time associated his morning break with having a cigarette. This association would make him miss smoking even more then it would otherwise.

In relationships and trying to get over a broken heart, we have the same scenario. When you go to someplace you used visit together with your ex, what happens is:

  • You remember your ex
  • And the memories you had together.

Your subconscious has "associated" the place with your ex and this makes you think of them again agonising your mind and causing pain.

How To Use This To Let Go Of An Ex

If we understand the dynamics of associations in classical conditioning we can recognize them for what they are, beat them and get over that breakup easily. Lets suppose there's a favorite film or song from your childhood that you remember fondly. Here the song makes you think about your childhood and makes you feel happy and so there's a positive association between the song and the memory. But if you watched the film or listened to that song now a hundred times or more, you'd get tired of it and the good feelings it brought to you would diminish.

In other words if we keep experiencing one association without it's corresponding second association then the association between the two things dies and we only remember each thing on its own merits. So the associations the subconscious mind forms in classical conditioning can die and crucially they can also be artificially broken in the case of breakups in order to get over an ex much quicker.

If you stop remembering your ex every time an association presented itself, the association would die. You would soon recover from the broken heart much quicker. Further to this, I recommend that every time an association occurs, you should train yourself to begin thinking about the negative qualities your ex had and in this way every time you think a place or song, it would make you like your ex less and less.

Why Some People Fail To Let Go Of Their Exs ...Even Years Later

Some people cant let go of an ex because they constantly reinforce the associations that cause them to remember their ex instead of weakening them. They torment their broken heart by:

  • Listening nostalgically to the songs they had listened to with their ex
  • By going to those same places that they were used to going together with their ex.
  • Thinking about anything related to their ex

This is the biggest reason that time doesn't make some people get over a broken heart. Resist this type of behavior and you can recover from the breakup easily.

Want more info on letting go of an ex?

Yes, why is self-examination so important for getting over a break up?

Why should I examine my current mentality in order to get over a break up?

How can I get my ex back using the "Golden Window?"

How do I use reverse psychology to get my ex back?

Is it a good idea to get back with my ex?