Skip to main content

You are in the: How To Get Over Someone article section               

How To Stop Thinking About Someone You Can't Have Using Psychology

Are you finding that you can';t stop thinking about someone you can't have?
And you are thinking all kinds of things about them?
Such as if you can't stop thinking about someone are they thinking about you?

You may be genuinely trying to prevent yourself thinking about a certain individual and forgetting about them but suddenly something throws them back into your mind. It could be anything from:

  • A song you know they like,
  • Passing by a museum you both visited once,
  • Or seeing an advert on the TV that you both had laughed at when you were together etc etc

You then end up thinking about them for the next hour or two or possibly longer ...agonizing your broken heart even more.

Yes, this is how I feel!

The thing about the mind is that the thoughts running through it are random, with no set sequence of order. So how can we control them? It seems like a catch 22 situation, doesn’t it? - We have a thinking process, which is random, but we need to control it so as to stop thinking of that individual and get over them. So how can you try to forget a person without thinking about them in the first place?

The reality is that you have 2 choices when a thought of your ex pops into your mind. You can either:

  1. Nudge the thoughts away
  2. Or you can feed them

Unfortunately, people have a tendency of feeding them (by playfully daydreaming about themselves back together with their ex again) ...and so makes these thoughts stronger in the process. This makes getting over a broken heart MUCH more difficult. They can also do it by looking at old messages their ex sent to them on their phone or by checking out their profile on facebook etc.

What you need to do is NUDGE these thoughts away

Yes, you wont be able to avoid thinking about that person every now and again while doing this. This is ok, just nudge these thoughts away and carry on doing what you were doing.

If you feel you don't have the self-discipline to resist these fleeting thoughts, then I cover a behavioral therapy technique in my book “THE ERASE CODE: How To Get Over Anyone In Less Than A Week Using Psychology” …that will allow even the weakest of minds to remove fleeting thoughts of their ex from their mind. This allows you to get over your broken heart much quicker than you ever thought possible.

Remember, what I’ve gone through in this article also works in reverse ...i.e. the more you remember and give in, the more you will keep doing it as it becomes the norm for you. This is how people can get stuck remembering (and consequently missing) an ex even years after the breakup has occurred.

Need more help on getting over a broken heart?

Yes, what do I need to reassess in order to recover from a breakup quickly?

Is "keeping busy" a good way to handle a breakup?

What is the difference between love and lust?

How can I get my ex-boyfriend back by examining his past?

How do I get my ex back using positive emotions?