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I hate my ex!!

Most people don’t realize this, but when we say we “hate” someone …we are actually making a statement about us ourselves.

What are we saying about ourselves?

We are saying that we have a weakness. This is important to understand. We only ever hate someone due to a weakness on our part.

What is this weakness?

The weakness is a lack of options.

We lack options with regard to our interaction with that other person. If we had more options with how we could deal with them, we wouldn’t have this weakness …and it would result in us hating that person less, or even possibly not hating them at all.

Lets look at an example of this…

Right now, if your ex has just dumped you (and/or done something else against you), you probably feel that you hate them. So lets look at your options right now:

  1. Get back together with them: One option available to you would be to get back together with them. This would undo the breakup (and consequently the pain the breakup has caused you). Everything would be back to like it was before the breakup occurred. So you would no longer hate your ex.

  2. Start going out with someone new: If you can’t get back together with your ex, your next option would probably be to try and get a new partner that was better than your old ex. This would undo the pain of having been dumped and you would come to hate your ex less ...and possibly even stop hating them as you begin to be happy again with your new partner. You may even derive pleasure when your ex sees you with your new partner. Your weakness would be reduced and your power would be increased ...because of this option. So this option would reduce your level of hate or even eliminate it altogether.

  3. Hate them!!: If you weren’t able to achieve any of the above two options, the only option left would be to hate them. This is because hate is always tied to a lack of options on how we can deal with that person. The less options we have …the more likely we are to hate them. Hate stems from a weakness (lack of options) on our part.

Hatred Is Draining

There’s an old saying about hatred that holds very true:

“Hating someone is like taking poison and wishing that the other person would die”

I’ve known people that still hate their ex months and even years after the breakup has occurred. Not only is this a pointless thing to do …but that hatred only causes YOU pain and not the other person.

It’s not something that you want to carry around with you.

Breakups are painful events in and of themselves. So you need to find a way of un-hating that person right now for your own well-being.

Hatred = Weakness

If you had more power (more options) right now, you wouldn’t hate your ex …and consequently wouldn’t feel the draining effect that hating another individual has on you.

But depending on your situation right now, you may feel that you have very few options available to you with your ex. Getting back together may not be an option and getting a new partner might not be either.

But no matter what your situation, you have one very powerful option available to you that will allow you to rid yourself of the hate of your ex …and that is to get over them

In my book “THE ERASE CODE: How To Get Over Anyone In Less Than A Week Using Psychology” I show how to get over your ex by dismantling, one by one, the reasons you think you “love” your ex. When you do this, you swap the power from their hands …into yours. And this allows you to no longer hate them. 

Opening The Way To Forgiveness

When you get over your ex, they are no longer “the prize” in your mind …but instead become just another ordinary person to you. This allows you to no longer feel any emotions towards your ex …removing the hate (and the consequent pain) you have for them.

This is important because the ultimate action in getting over the pain someone has caused you is to …forgive that person. And it’s extremely difficult to forgive from a position of weakness. Forgiveness is something that you need to be strong to do. Only weak people hold onto resentment.

THE ERASE CODE program puts that strength in your hands. And with that strength comes the ability to forgive and forget them …putting them firmly as just a simple footnote in the book of your life, rather than something that causes you hate and pain whenever you think of them or see them around.