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How To Overcome Jealousy – By Stopping Comparing Yourself To Others

Picture this scenario:

You are at a check-out counter buying your weekly supply of groceries. You look to your side and you see this refined looking gentleman about the same age as you. He moves with confidence and fluidity and although seemingly unassuming, there is something about him, an aura he projects that just transfixes your gaze on him. He pulls out a wad of hundred dollar bills and pays for nearly a thousand dollars worth of groceries like it was nothing.

You think back and reflect on yourself and how you work for more than 8 hours a day and yet, you could never afford to throw away that much money in groceries. The worst part is that he looks like he’s the same age as you. You start making visual comparisons between yourself and this gentleman and you make yourself feel even worse when you realize that you just don’t measure up to him in any way whatsoever.

Does this scenario sound familiar?

If it does, do not be disheartened. The truth is that the human mind is always drawing comparisons based on past experience – especially once it starts to recognize similarities between two different things.

Whether it’s your usual gym partner or your colleagues at work, your mind is always seeking out things which it can draw comparisons on. While this is all well and good and can even boost your self-confidence if you happen to be superior to the person that you are comparing yourself with, the problem is that - look what happens when you are not.

The fact of the matter is that everyone has a special skill, talent or trait that is somewhat superior to that of others. Constantly comparing yourself with others therefore, is very self-destructive and can turn you into a very envious and insecure individual.

How To Stop Unhealthy Comparisons

In order to stop the habit of constantly comparing yourself to others, you need to:

  • Have an open mind: If you see or know someone who possesses some traits in a certain field which are superior to yours, take a step back and realize that being good at something doesn’t make that person a better individual over-all than you.

  • They can never have something you have: If you find yourself drawing further comparisons with this person and finding yourself even more inferior, stop for a while and think about the things you have that this person could never possess.

  • Hidden problems: Remember that people only display their positive side, and hide any negative side they may have. Have you ever known a happy couple that looked like the perfect match to the outside world, then one day you hear that they decide to breakup? The reality is that people only show their good side in public, and hide their bad sides. It doesn’t mean that they haven’t got bad sides or things in their life they’re not happy about – it just means that they don’t show them.

  • Focus on you: Finally, you need to refocus your attention on yourself and away from other people. Look at your strengths and focus on these …not other peoples strengths.

As long as you keep your self-esteem high enough and treat your comparison habit like the bad habit that it is, it will begin to disappear over time.

Need more help?

Yes, who are more prone to jealousy? Men or women?

How do I discuss a jealousy problem with my partner?

What is the right way to make him jealous?

How do I improve my confidence by challenging my belief system?

How can I overcome insecurity in my relationship by avoiding assumption paralysis?