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Why Some People Refuse Marriage Counseling Advice ...Even Though They Need It

Does marrriage counseling work?
If so, why do so many people refuse it?

One of the necessary steps to fixing marital issues is acknowledging the need for marriage counseling advice. And making an appointment with a marriage therapist is the first step to making this acknowledgement. 

There are many things spouses can learn from marriage therapists in order to achieve a smooth and sustained improvement in the relationship. They will help ask and answer the following questions for both you and your spouse:

  • What is your mental picture of the kind of life you want to have together?

  • How to stay married yet enrich that unique person in you?

  • What attitudes and skills to improve on to be able to work better with your spouse?

  • What should be your motivation to continue with the marriage?

  • How much time are you willing to give in order that this marriage will work?

So how come marriage counseling is not more popular considering the high divorce rate?

Therapy sessions for marriage counseling are never easy. Many will find it an intrusion to their private lives. The following are tough choices couples need to take in deciding to seek marital help from marriage counselors:

  1. Time: If both spouses have jobs to keep and schedules are tight; setting an appointment with a therapist can be an issue. Naturally, the couple will be counseled to spend more time together in order to patch things in marriage. This can be hard to follow through when both are busy at work and with other schedules they take as different individuals. However if couples really want to help their relationship, it is important that they make available time for each other to work things out.

  2. Compromise comfort: Many find it hard to speak about their private lives and their feelings to a stranger. It is an uncomfortable feeling being confronted by someone you hardly know about your decisions and the consequences of your actions. Couples however need to remember that these therapists are trained people who will help a couple straighten out the strains in their relationship. Rest assured your life stories are going to be kept confidential.

  3. Energy comfort: It takes a lot of effort to remember the things you ought to do to sustain improvement in your relationship and act upon them. You need to be conscious about your actions with your spouse, remembering how to be more respectful, more appreciative, more patient and tolerant, more giving and forgiving etc. You have to make a difference in your relationship. A difference that will work towards improving the kind of relationship you have at present.

  4. Improving reactions to problems: Many couples will find this the hardest to improve on. It is not easy to shift to something from what is common and natural for you, especially when your feelings and emotions are involved. Improving on this part will normally take time but nothing is impossible when you set your heart and mind on it.

Want to know more?

Yes, does marriage therapy really work?

What kind of marriage issues are normal?

I think my marriage is about to end, can you help me?

Why can't relationship counseling fix every relationship?

Why do all our conversations keep ending in shouting matches?


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