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Does marriage therapy really work?

Does marriage therapy actually work? This is a good question. The reason people wonder about this is because marriage therapy usually has the bad name of being something people go to as a last ditch effort to save their marriage. The success rate of marriage therapy depends on a number of factors. The two most important of which are:

  1. How strong the relationship was to begin with

  2. How long you have left it go before seeking marriage therapy

The reason it's important to seek marriage therapy early is because if early problems aren't dealt with, they can grow and fester into resentment between the couple. The more resentment that has been built up, the harder it will be to reconcile the couple using marriage therapy.

4 Reasons To Get Marriage Therapy

If you're considering marriage therapy, I recommend going to it. The reality of marriage therapy is that it can only provide benefit to you both and can't make your relationship any worse than it is.

  1. Marriage therapy will open your eyes: If you're having problems in your relationship, marriage therapy will help get to the root cause of these problems. Often the small petty problems you both argue about over look the real cause of the problems. Marriage therapy has the advantage of having a third party being able to look at the way things are and tell you why there are that way. He/she will then show you how you can fix this.

  2. Marriage therapy is about perspective: There will be times during the marriage therapy session(s) where you will be required to keep quiet while your partner tells the story the way they see it. This means that either partner isn't able to shout the other down like they might in an argument. Rather they have to hear exactly what their partner has to say and deal with the therapist judgement on what they say.

    Seeing things from the others perspective will provide more clarity about your problems. It also has the advantage that both of you are more likely to say things in front of a therapist that you wouldn't say to each other for fear of blowing an argument out of control. It'ssit and suffer time but it's an important part of the process of healing a marriage.

  3. Marriage therapy provides healing: Being able to speak to someone about your relationship will be healing. While you can speak to friends, the advantage of a marriage therapist is that firstly - they are an expert and secondly - it's better if you're both together and being healed by the one individual.

  4. No one regrets marriage therapy: Studies have shown that 70% of all couples that have tried marriage therapy were happy they did so. This applies even if the marriage ended with a divorce. No one said they regretted going or said that it made the situation worse. The reason even divorced couples said they didn't regret going was because the fact they went means they know they tried everything to save the marriage.

    Knowing that you tried everything but still failed makes the failure less emotionally draining. There's no lingering thoughts such as "What if" or "Maybe things could have been fixed" etc. Even when Marriage therapy fails in its objective, it still has the advantage of speeding up recovery from the divorce.

Need more info?

Yes, how do I interview a marriage therapist before choosing one?

What are the 3 problem areas that I need to avoid to make marriage work?

What do I need to consider when choosing marriage books?

What are some good reasons to get and stay married?

How can visiting a divorcee save my marriage?