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4 Ways Marriages Change For The Worse After An Affair

Married affairs, when found out, can have serious consequences for the health of a marriage and the mental well-being of the individual that was cheated on.

If an affair doesn't end in separation or divorce, a lot of work has to be done to rebuild the trust lost between you both. I always recommend getting relationship counseling after married affairs as its important that:

  • The root problem that caused the affair is discovered
  • The couple are given guidance on how to remedy that problem

How strong the relationship is that emerges from the married affair, depends on a number of factors. Most notably is how willing both partners are to want to make things work out.

The 4 Main Consequences

I've outlined here 4 major side effects that married affairs can have on the psyche of the affected partner and how that in turn can affect the relationship. Some emotional side effects have a longer duration than others.

Often it's not the fact that the person has had sex with someone else but actually the betrayal and deception that such an act involved. Effects of married affairs include:

  1. Reduced or non-existent sex: One effect of married affairs is that the affected partner may not have the ability to bring himself or herself to touch or have sex with their partner again for some considerable time. If it extends for an uncomfortable amount of time, advice should be sought to help the partner get around this mental roadblock of not wanting to be intimate with their partner again.

  2. Fear: There will always be worry on the part of the person that was cheated upon that their partner might cheat again. Consequently, they may try and be over protective of their partner and insistent on knowing their whereabouts constantly and whom they are with. It should be understood that such fear is natural and the individual that cheated should make allowances for it. Where it does become an issue however is if the person still is showing fear years after the affair and still insisting on knowing their every whereabouts.

  3. Resentment: Anger by the person that's been affected is usually short term if the partner that cheated readily admits their fault and works towards securing a healthy relationship. However, if the partner isn't willing to admit their failings, this anger can lead to resentment, which in turn could result in the eventual collapse of their relationship.

  4. Paranoia: Even if you regain a good portion of the trust you once had, the affected partner may never again have the same sense of security. Trust is a key element of relationships and if it's not repaired to a good enough degree it could be the stumbling block to saving the relationship.

Most of the side effects of married affairs are best addressed through relationship counseling sessions. While there's never a guarantee that a relationship can last after an infidelity, you should know that professional help will always give you the best chance of achieving it.

Need more info?

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