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How To Fix Your Marriage – Using The Acknowledgement Technique

Want to know how to fix a marriage?
What are the best techniques for rebuilding your relationship?

Research has shown that the best way to fix a marriage is through self-change as opposed to trying to get your partner to change. Most successful “marriage turn-arounds”, are achieved by people who adopt this mentality when tackling their marriage difficulties.

When a person tries to get their partner to change, the outcome is usually failure. When they do manage to get their partner to change, it's not guaranteed to improve the dynamics of the relationship as you're depending on them to maintain the change, which of course is outside of your control.

A big issue that couples have when they come to marriage counseling is that they feel their partner doesn't respect them. Consequently if a person doesn't feel respected by their partner, they're unlikely to give respect back in return. And so a vicious cycle is set up. I want to show you here how to save your marriage by avoiding such a situation or fixing such a situation if it already exists.

Yes, respect has become an issue for us!

I'm going to show you a quick and straightforward psychological technique for rebuilding respect in a relationship. It will allow you both to break free from a problem pattern of communication and save your marriage. If you have been on poor terms with your spouse for a while, no doubt their defenses (and yours) will be up. This is acting as a bar to effective communication.

The acknowledgement technique will help lower these defenses and allow effective communication to be re-initiated. For the next week, aim to say one of the following once every day in acknowledgement of something they've said:

  • That’s a great idea

  • You're right, I hadn't thought of that

  • That’s a great point

  • That would work very well etc

Say one of these (or a variation of these) to something good your spouse has said or an idea they've put forth to you. It doesn't have to be a big idea but even a small issue they've found a solution to would suffice.

The idea isn't to lie. As long as your response comes across as genuine to something they've said - you're on the right track. They don't necessary have to have said something either but it could be something they've actually done that you're giving recognition to.

How does this save a marriage?

This technique is particularly effective in diffusing an argument. Saying one of these will kill an argument in it's tracks because if you're showing respect to your spouse, they'll find it hard to argue back at you.

The reason this technique is effective is because relationships are supposed to be about making each other grow. In the beginning of your relationship you probably did and said things that encouraged your partner to grow and develop.

However as time went on, these compliments became less and less frequent. And particularly now if you've started arguing a lot, your partner may have begun to feel their growth stunted by you and so began feeling indifferent to you.

Final Thought On How To Fix A Marriage

Spouses need this kind of encouragement and validation from each other. If you can change your behavior from arguing to giving validation, you'll find your partner beginning to respond to you.

You'll find that you'll start getting closer to one another again and set the course to save your marriage. The longer there has been difficulty in the marriage, the longer this will take. But it can be done. Very often in life, a small change can make a big difference.

Need more help on how to fix a marriage?

Yes, how can I get my wife back and make things like they were before?

How do I leave an emotionally abusive marriage?

How do I interview and choose a counselor that's right for my situation?

Why can't relationship counseling fix every relationship?

How do I recognize "negative influences" in a marriage?


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