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How To Fix A Marriage By Recognizing The “Negative Influences”

Were you asking "How to fix my marriage"?
But not sure where to begin fixing the problem?

The first point of call when you think about saving a marriage, is in trying to understand what caused it to fail.

From there, you will know what needs to be done and how it should be done. Whether you are on the brink of divorce or just passing through some tough times, it is not too late to reverse things.

Influences are everywhere. And they have the power to make or break a marriage. They can be internal and/or external forces. Here are some of the influences that can negatively affect marriage and how you can deal with them:

  • Unresolved problems: It’s always easier to solve problems if you deal with them as they occur. Letting them linger will only make an otherwise simple problem worse and become complex. Walls are built and bitterness is sowed. Eventually, your judgment becomes clouded and you might consider your spouse as the problem rather than the one who caused the problem. Unresolved problems often create division and do lead to divorces. So be warned. Bear in mind also that solutions do not happen in the snap of a finger. Regardless, the process towards the solution should start immediately.

  • Baggage from the past: Before marriage, each of you lived your own individual lives. Products of broken homes and dysfunctional families often carry baggage with them that may not be healthy for the marriage. Counseling is highly recommended to help deal with issues of the past and learn how to effectively relate to one another in marriage.

  • Addictions: Be it substance or alcohol addiction, or other forms such as gambling or pornography, addiction can negatively affect marriage and may even have tragic effects. It should never be tolerated and help should be sought immediately in dealing with it.

  • Extended family: In-laws can be your friend or foe as there are in-laws who like to meddle with their son’s or daughter’s marriage. Parents can indeed share their wisdom with years of experience. However, boundaries need to be set. And what worked for them may not work for your marriage. You need to make your parents understand that your spouse and your family is your priority now, but it won’t change the fact that they’re still your parents. You need to make independent decisions and do what you think is best for your own marriage.

  • Career: In order to be able to provide for the family’s needs and pursue personal career growth, you might have to work hard and spend less quality time with your spouse. Excessive overtime or working even when at home however, means less intimacy. And this is a common reason for infidelity. Always make your marriage a top priority. After all, what are you working hard for if you lose the marriage?

Negative influences in marriage can ruin the relationship. These are things that we cannot just take away. However, you have the power to turn them into something positive. By dealing with negative influences the right way, you will be able to save a marriage.

Using Positive Influences to Save a Marriage

It is important to note that there are positive influences in marriage that you can make use of to your advantage. The following are just a few of the positive influences:

  • Time: Time can be your friend if you know how to use it. Make sure to spend quality time together with your spouse. There is always much to talk about and there’s a lot to learn about one another. You will only find this out however if you spend more time communicating with your spouse. Free up a lot of time spent on watching TV or bringing work at home to give way for nurturing your marriage.

  • Family: Your own family and in-laws can be a positive influence. Parents, especially those with successful marriages, can give sound advice and opinions. They can also give you support through difficult times. Make an effort to bring your spouse closer to your parents, as well as make yourself closer to your in-laws. Cultivating healthy family ties can help save a marriage.

  • Books: A lot of wisdom can be gained through reading books about marriage and relationships. If you’re not the bookish type, try reading one or two. You’ll find that they are really helpful in saving failed marriages or keeping healthy ones, if you just practice what you learn.

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