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2 Things That Determine If A Damaged Marriage Can Ever Be Repaired

Want to know how to fix your marriage?
But not sure if things are just too far gone?

The possibility of success in fixing your marriage depends on two core things:

  1. How strong your relationship was before you got into difficulty.

  2. How much resentment has built up over time.

When you ignore problems in a relationship, they have a habit of growing and festering. In time this will lead to resentment between the couple. And if it goes far enough - it may be impossible to reverse.

This is why I always recommend taking action early in saving your marriage rather than leaving it too late. Often, getting relationship counseling, early on when there's trouble, is enough to set a marriage back on course.

Can relationship counseling really fix my marriage?

Relationship counseling is always the best route to go down in saving your marriage. This is because the counselor will be able to examine the root cause of the problem and not just the superficial cause(s) that cause you to argue with one another. The counselor, will also be able to give you solid workable advice on how you can turn things around.

I highly recommend seeing a counselor in saving your marriage. However, if you don't want to go down this route, here are a few steps you can take yourself to improve the quality of the relationship.

  • Together time: When you were first dating, the relationship was all about you and your partner. Nothing else mattered. However, as time went on and you got married, lots of outside influences began to enter the scene. You started to have to think more about work, paying a mortgage, looking after children etc.

    Sometimes these outside influences can over take a marriage and if they do, it can be detrimental to the health of your relationship. Consequently, it's a good idea to arrange a time every night where you can be together for twenty minutes and just talk. Turn off the TV, cell phones etc and just talk about your day and your feelings to one another.

  • Date nights: When was the last time you went on a date with your partner? If you're having difficulty in saving your marriage you'll probably have to think about this one. When a couple have been married for any length of time, they often start to take each other for granted. They don't go out together as often and when they do, they don't take as much care of their appearance as they used to, such as dressing up well etc.

    Consequently any date you do try and go on doesn't feel like a date at all. Having dates with your partner keeps a sense of freshness to the marriage and going on them once every two or three weeks will act as a step forward towards saving your marriage.

  • Look after yourself: When you look after yourself, it shows your partner that you value who you are. Likewise, looking after yourself will make the other spouse feel worthy because it feels that your still making the effort for them rather than "letting yourself go".

    So how do you look after yourself? The best way of doing so is to develop an exercise plan and eat healthy foods. These two things shows that a person values themselves. While this in itself won't save a marriage, it will increase the sense of worthiness to the marriage and give it a sense of purpose.

Final Thought

Saving your marriage is going to take time and effort. The amount of which depends on how damaged the relationship is.

The above points will aid you in saving your marriage, however the more things you work on, the more likely it is you will achieve success. Check out the following articles for further areas to work on.

Need additional info on how to fix your marriage?

Yes, how can I save my marriage if my mind is in a mess?

What are the strengths and weaknesses of marriage guidance?

Is cohabitation before marriage a good or bad idea?

What does it take to save a relationship that's in trouble of ending?

How do I make a relationship last after the inital spark has gone?