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How can I get my wife back and make things like they were before?

"I want to get my wife back!" - It’s among the most common problems that clients ask me if there is hope. The good news is that you can successfully get your wife back but it will take some self-examination on your part. You must find out what caused her to leave. Knowing the cause of any problem is key to fixing it.

In my book "THE LOVEMAP CODE: How To Make Someone Fall In Love With You Using Psychology" I go through the steps you must take following a break up in order to get the person back. She loved you at some point, so we need to see what’s changed to cause her to fall out of love with you.

The worst thing you could do now is something to make the situation worse. If you've already done this, then you've made things that bit harder. However, you can still get her back.

You Have To Fix The Causes Of The Problem ...NOT The Symptoms

It’s not possible to cover the entire strategy to make someone fall in love with you here, in the confines of one article. However there are some key points that should be addressed:

  1. Find out the cause(s): When a wife leaves a man, she may give any number of reasons for leaving, some logical, some illogical. It’s important to understand that these reasons may not be really why she’s left you in themselves but rather there was a deeper reason for leaving. If she said she had a problem with "you snoring" or "putting on weight", what she was basically saying was she had lost hope in you as a potential life partner. Her falling out of love was her losing hope in you.

  2. Fix what’s causing the problem: Addressing the real reason she left you is critical. I go through in the book "How to make anyone fall in love with you" how to pick out the real reasons women leave men so you can address them properly. There’s no point in fixing a superficial reason she gave you for leaving. You must fix the root cause. This may or may not require compromise on your part and make changes. If you want your wife back, then you will have to be prepared to do this.

  3. Instill positive emotions: If every time your wife thought of you she was filled with positive emotions, do you think she would have left? No she wouldn't. The reason she left is because you gave her negative emotions. Positive emotions are a key way to make someone fall in love with you. The more fun and relaxed she is with you, the more positive emotions she will associate with being with you. It’s little known outside of psychology circles that it’s the emotions themselves that people love, not the other person. Knowing this will allow you to fill her with positive emotions and make her subconscious love you.

  4. Fresh start: The new you that you will give to your wife needs to be the beginning of a new era in the relationship. You must disassociate yourself from the deadbeat guy that caused his wife to leave him. The truth is that women are passive about wanting to break up a marriage. If you convince her and show her that you are her soul mate, she will want to give things a go in order to see if you can change.

Can I get my wife back even if she’s seeing someone else?

In such a situation, you might be saying that my advice is of no use, that she must be out of your reach if she has a new guy. If you think this, then you haven't been paying attention to what I have been saying.

Women don't leave men for other men; they leave men for another life. In other words, they lose hope in their first guy, and so leave. She lost hope that you would be "the one" and so she looked somewhere else.

The good news is that because you were the one to cause her to lose hope, you have it in your power to give it back to her. Rebound relationships are generally short-lived and not serious. This is true for rebound relationships in marriage so you are still in a position to put a strategy in place for getting her back.

Need more help?

Yes, what are the 3 problem areas I need to avoid in order to make marriage work?

How do I save my marriage by not comparing it to other marriages?

How can a marriage separation actually save a marriage?

Why do problems start to appear the longer a relationship goes on?

Do we need couples therapy?


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