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How To Tell The Difference Between Healthy And Unhealthy Love In A Marriage

Want to know how to have a happy marriage?
Especially when so many others seem to fail?

It’s quite ironic that most couples get together because they are in love but then find themselves having to invest a lot more than love if they want to make it survive. They must invest

  • Time

  • Respect

  • Understanding

  • And commitment towards each other

A young married couple often mistakes a happy marriage as equivalent to being “in the clouds” all the time – the notion of perfection. But older couples that have gone through tough and trying times know that this misconception is pure fantasy and that a couple can still be happy with their marriage regardless of the adversities that come their way.

Is true love necessary for a happy marriage?

To make a marriage happy and worthwhile, couples need to sacrifice and compromise throughout their married life. One key factor in determining the success rate of having a happy marriage is to assess your love towards your partner, as well as your partner’s love towards you. And when I say love – I mean true love.

True love is characterized by unselfish and unconditional love. But if you or your partner exhibits love that is dependent and selfish, then it is less likely that your marriage would be happy. A truly happily married couple does not drain each other to feed their individual selves with life juice. Instead, they should uplift each other in a positive manner.

Hence, if you want to make your marriage happy you first have to make a shift from selfish towards selfless love. If you believe that your partner is too dependent and has a selfish type of love, action must be taken. Make him or her remember that you are both in a marriage and that you should always consider one another and your family in whatever decision and undertaking. This is not something that can be achieved over night but it is worth the effort to get to that place.

How Intimacy Can Make Or Break A Happy Marriage

Next, take a good look at the intimacy level of your marriage. When a couple embarks upon marriage, they don’t necessarily know each other completely as they still continue to get to know each other. Also, because a married couple faces problems after problems together, they develop shared emotions that further fortify the foundation of a happy marriage – intimacy.

Therefore, a happy marriage is marked by intimacy that continually strengthens in level with the growing understanding of each other’s persona and in line with their increasing number of shared emotions and memories as a couple.

Decreasing intimacy on the other hand is a sign that the marriage isn’t flourishing. To be able to counteract a faltering intimacy level, couples should find time to constantly share their private lives to each other. At the end of each day, you and your partner should tell stories of what happened at work and throughout the day. By investing such little details of your everyday lives to each other, you will both continue to know each other despite your separate and individual lives.

Final Thought On Developing A Happy Marriage

Probably the most important way to keep a marriage happy is to kill the “happy marriage killer” – high expectations. Marriage in general isn’t all sugar. It is marked by bittersweet events just like any relationship and life in general.

Never expect a marriage to be the exact opposite of reality by infusing it with your own fantasy of what a happy marriage is supposed to be. Instead, set a realistic viewpoint of marriage for you and your partner and you will find that other things in your married will naturally fall into place.

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