Skip to main content

You are in the: How To Save My Marriage article section     

How do husbands and wives differ in their problem solving approaches?

The husband and wife relationship is a unique relationship with unique dynamics. Couples that don't understand the particular dynamics of their relationship can sometimes:

  • Be left feeling frustrated with their partner

  • Misinterpret the meaning behind their partners actions

  • Expect the wrong things from their partner etc

And the consequences of such misunderstandings is marriage breakdown.

Strong husband wife relationships involve both parties accepting and understanding the differences between them and their opposite sex. They're better able to compromise with each other and thus make the relationship more amicable.

Problem Solving Approaches

To best illustrate the workings of husband wife relationships, i want to examine the area of problem-solving. This is because both sexes generally have a completely different approach to the problems they face.

  1. Wife’s approach to solving problems: The wife usually will discuss her problem with relatives and friends. She'll examine the different ways she could approach it and combine her opinion with the opinions of the people close to her. This way she gets a combined solution. This gathering of information usually means it will take a while before the problem itself is addressed.

  2. Husbands approach to solving problems: The husband however is usually a solitary individual in relation to solving problems and will not seek outside help. He will arrive at a solution on his own, and consequently the solution is arrived at in less time.

In considering the husband wife relationship in relation to how they solve problems, we can see the way both have a fundamentally different way of thinking. The husband might interpret his wife’s way of solving a problem as taking it too lightly and only using it as something to have a chat about with her friends.

Likewise, the wife can think her husband isn't taking the situation seriously enough if he comes up with a solution too quickly.

Husband Wife Relationship – Final Thought

Women sometimes talk about their problem solely as a means of letting off steam rather than actually looking for a solution. In this way she wants to vent off her anger and lessen the pent up tension that has built up between herself and her husband. Basically, she's looking for empathy from her husband.

Men however will only usually talk about problems if they couldn't find a solution themselves or if they need their partners help in reaching the solution. Considering this mindset, if the wife vented her anger at a problem in an attempt to get empathy from her husband, all she might get is his solution for the problem. As a result, the woman will be thinking that her husband isn't interested in listening to her and is just trying to find any solution that will shut her up as quickly as possible.

This illustrates how tensions can build up in a husband wife relationship, as both individuals are right in their own mindsets but views the other as being wrong. In a healthy husband wife relationship, both parties would understand that there are differences in the other persons thought process and would be understanding to this. This is what good communication is all about and is essential to the success off any husband wife relationship.

Want to know more?

Yes, how can I save my marriage by not comparing it to other marriages?

How can I save my marriage by recognizing the "negative influences?"

What will a good relationship counselor do for a relationship?

Am I getting too comfortable with my partner?

What does couples counseling actually involve?


Report