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The Psychological Connection Between An Unhappy Marriage And Depression

An unhappy marriage is one of the most common causes of depression that gets reported to psychologists and doctors. The reason for this is that many married people define themselves by their marriage and family life. They equate the success of their marriage to their own self worth and value.

The problem with this is that if the marriage doesn't work out the way they had imagined in their head - their self confidence is damaged and depression ensues. An unhappy marriage is usually defined by one partner withdrawing their love and attention from the other. This can be for a multitude of reasons including:

In any case, it's important to realize that if you're suffering from an unhappy marriage, it can be an unhappy marriage for a multitude of reasons that are outside your control. When you realize this, you will be better able to avoid the pitfalls of hopelessness and depression which most unhappy marriages cause.

How An Unhappy Marriage Leads To Depression

Society brings people up with the mentality that we should be nice to people so they'll be nice to us. If you're good to people, they'll like you for it and this will make you happy.

The problem with this logic is that it makes us equate our own self worth with how much people love or like us. We have been engrained with the mindset that if people care about us - we're worthy. If they don't we're worthless.

This is a flawed mindset, as people cannot like others for a multitude of reasons that have nothing to do intrinsically with that person. In the case of an unhappy marriage the reasons are numerous (as listed above) and can be completely unrelated to you.

How Your Logic Can Create An Unhappy Marriage

When people are faced with a problem, such as an unhappy marriage, they immediately use logic and reasoning to come to a conclusion as to why the problem is the way it is. If your logic has been based on thinking that you're unworthy if you're in an unhappy marriage, your subconscious will naturally start looking for things that are wrong with you to back it up.

If we become convinced that something must be wrong with us, we will start to see fault in everything we do. In order to overcome the damaging psychological effects an unhappy marriage can have, you shouldn't look for things which you think are wrong with you but rather look at the other things that can be causing your unhappy marriage that are unrelated to you.

In the book "THE ERASE CODE: How To Get Over Anyone In Less Than A Week Using Psychology" I show the possible reasons for unhappy relationships. Most of these have nothing to do with the person that feels rejected but rather have to do with unresolved issues on the other person’s side. Knowing these and how to deal with them correctly will rid you of the depression that an unhappy marriage can cause.

Need more help?

Yes, how does marriage change a relationship?

Do we need couples therapy?

Is my partner becoming emotionally distant

Am I in an unhealthy relationship? What are the signs of a bad relationship?

What are the pros and cons of marital separation?