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How To Deal With An Identity Crisis

In my previous article What can cause an identity crisis? I showed how the main reason people suffer from an identity crisis is by identifying themslves by an unstable external thing which they ultimately have no control over.

Such things can incude:

  • Identifying oneself by money
  • Identifiying oneself by their partner
  • Identifying oneself by an object

If you base your whole identidy on something like one of these and then this goes away, your identity goes with it. And the effects on your psychological well being can be dramatic ranging from low self-esteem to depression. 

If this has already happened to you, you can fix things. In order to deal with an identitiy crisis, you now need to make sure that who you are going forward is not based on an external object (which by its nature can never be 100% inside your control), but instead follows two critical rules which I will now show you.

2 Rules To Dealing With An Identity Crisis

When you follow these, you will be able to rebuild your identity on a more solid and long-lasting base:

  1. Identify Yourself Using More Internal Than External Objects: It is far better to base your identity of who you are on internal objects (which you can control) rather than external objects (which you can’t control). An example of an internal object might be a personal quality that you are strong in …such as your determination (if that is a quality you have a lot of). Even if outside negative things occur in your life, you can always fall back on your identify of being an individual who is determined. Now, everyone to some degree, will inevitably base their identity of who they are on some outside external factors. This is unavoidable. However what you want to make sure is that the basis of your identity as a whole is governed more by internal objects …rather than external objects. Doing this creates a healthy basis on how you view yourself.

  2. Use More Than One Object To Define Yourself: If you use one single object to define yourself (whether this is an external or internal one), you are more at risk of suffering a identity crisis because all your eggs are in one basket so to speak. Define yourself instead using a number of different factors such as your determination, your pleasant personality and your career success for example. This way, even if one of these areas does not work out the way you planned, you will have the other areas to fall back on.

When you follow these 2 guidelines, you increase the likelihood of creating a healthy subconscious identity of who you are …and one that allows you to grow with confidence.

Final Point

If your identity is based on fragile outside things ….then your identity in itself is fragile. This, in and of itself, means that such an identity is more likely to suffer problems than one which is based on internal objects.

When your identity of who you are is fragile, and then fails …you would then have to search for a new identity. But if this new one is also based on fragile outside things, it would also be at risk of suffering the same fate as the previous one.

Suffering an identity crisis like this (or several identity crisis one after another) can be a SERIOUS blow to your confidence and your self-esteem. This is why it is important o prevent such a thing from ever happening.