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My problem is i'm insecure, how can i fix this part of my life?

This is a problem that can affect both men and women ...but seems to be more common in women. Here I want to examine insecurity and how to control it. Insecurity is amongst the most damaging aspects that can be found in relationships. You can feel insecure when your boyfriend:

  • Goes out with his friends and you worry he'll meet someone prettier than you.

  • When he says he loves you, you question if he means it.

  • When he says you’re beautiful, you wonder if there’s other women in his life that are prettier than you.

  • He gets mad and you worry that he'll leave you.

The problem with insecurity is that it can consume you and affect the way you manage the relationship. In bad cases you might find yourself looking at his text messages and paying surprise visits to him to make sure he is where he said he was.

Obviously, such activities damage relationships and reduce trust. Ironically it’s this insecurity in its own right that can cause a man to leave without there actually being any outside factors like another woman.

Relationship advice for women and insecurity

If you had wealth, fame and good looks, do you think you'd feel insecure? You wouldn't. No one would. But why?

You see if you had all of the above attributes you'd feel like the center of your mans world. You'd think he wouldn't want anyone else, you wouldn't worry, you'd gain self confidence from this and in turn your man would grow to admire you.

So if you could improve your confidence and be secure in your looks you would naturally draw your man into liking you more and ensuring a healthy relationship. So the whole aspect of being famous is unimportant - its the confidence that attracted your mans attention. Therefore, you should kill insecurity, by taking action on:

  • Increasing self confidence: There are various ways to work on this. The easiest way to build self confidence is to go out regularly with friends and enjoy yourself. The easiest way to destroy it is to rely too much on your boyfriend for your social life and stop going out with your friends.

  • Building self image: A negative self image will play a big part in knocking your self confidence. Therefore it’s necessary to work on this. If you think you're not good looking, working on some aspect of your body, clothes, hair etc will improve this.

  • Fear of being dumped: If you've been dumped before, this can weigh heavily on your mind the next time you enter a relationship. However instead of focusing this negative energy into worry, you should focus it instead into learning from any mistakes from the last relationship and being determined that they don't occur again.

  • Trust your ability: You need to believe in your ability of being able to hold on to your man. The biggest factor that can go against this is if you think other women are better than you or think they'd be able to steal your man from you. Feeling inferior to other woman again ties in to self confidence.

  • Unique reasons: It might be that you're feeling insecure for reasons totally unique to you. It might stem from a past experience in your childhood or to an old relationship. At the end of the day it almost always boils down or relates in some way to lacking in self confidence. Therefore working on this should always be a priority.

Final thought on relationship advice for women

In essence, to get rid of insecurity, a person should take the single thing that makes them feel most insecure and work on that. This is probably the best piece of relationship advice for women that can be given.

Now, everyone to some degree will feel insecure, however it's when it starts interfering with the proper functioning of your relationship that it becomes a problem. At which point action must be taken to ensure the survival of the relationship.

 


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