Does Love At First Sight Exist?
Psychologists have discovered that love at first sight does indeed exist. But before I tell you how it works, you first you need to understand something about love at first sight psychology...
Love at first sight does not happen how you think it happens. It doesn't happen because of "fate", "destiny" or "it was meant to be" etc ...but rather because of something psychologists call Impression Formation.
Impression formation is the process our subconscious minds goes through when we meet someone new. When we meet someone new, our subconscious works to associate the facial features we see in that person and tries to associate certain characteristics to these facial features.
On a very simplistic level, if you were to see someone who :
- Smiles a lot: You would think this person is happy and likely to be friendly.
- Has a naturally frowning face: You would think this person is grumpy and unlikely to be friendly.
- Has droppy eyes: This person is boring and/or tired …and will just drain you.
Basically, our minds have developed a basic way of interpreting the facial features of people we meet and tries to associate certain characteristics to that person as a result of these facial features.
Our subconscious reasons that if someone is frowning a lot and doesn’t make eye contact with you when you talk to them, this person may be a grumpy person and/or dishonest …and so it makes you dislike this person so you will not allow them into your life (where it reasons they might be a threat to your well-being).
Our subconscious is always trying to protect us and impression formation is just another mechanism in a long list of mechanisms our subconscious mind uses to protect us.
What does this have to do with falling in love at first sight?
As I’ve said, our subconscious mind is always looking out for us. It wants to draw people into your life which it thinks could be of benefit to you …and dispel people from you who it thinks might of threat to you.
If you once loved someone very much, and being in love with them caused you to experience lots of happy memories, then the facial features of this persons face are likely to have been “burned” onto your subconscious. A “rule” will have been created on your subconscious where you will associate the facial features of this person with happy thoughts. And it doesn’t even have to be the facial features themselves …but the unique facial mannerisms and expressions that that person used make.
Now, what do you think would happen if years after you broke up with the one you love, you then met someone new who looked like the one you once loved?
What would happen?
In such a situation, your subconscious will see the facial features of this new person and it will trigger the “rule” which had been created in your subconscious mind years ago with your ex. Because this new person resembles your ex, you will now find yourself being drawn to this new person also …and not really knowing why.
Your subconscious will have seen the similarity between this persons facial features …and the facial features of your ex (someone who you once loved) and cause you to begin liking this new person even before you really get to know them. This is one of the little known facts about love at first sight!
Have you ever had a friend who was dumped by someone they loved …and then after a few months you see them dating someone new that looks just like their old ex they once loved? I have! And the funny thing is the person will do this, all without even realizing it. Their subconscious mind will have been working away in the background making calculations on every new person they meet. And it will have reasoned that because this new person looks like someone from their past that brought them a lot of good memories and happy emotions, this new person might also.
This is what causes love at first sight.
And we are ALL guilty of it!
The reality is that we all do this. Its called “Impression Formation”. And the funny thing is that it doesn’t just have to be an ex that you once loved, it could be ANY person who influenced your life in a positive way. It could be:
- An Uncle who means a lot to you
- A close friend who was there for you when you were feeling down
- Or a celebrity that you happen to like a lot
If you meet someone new who your subconscious sees a resemblance to anyone in your past or present who means a lot to you, it will cause you to interpret this new person as having the same qualities and characteristics of the person from your past/present. And if you love this person in your life, then you could very well find yourself “falling in love at first sight” with them …and not really knowing why.
Is it possible to fall in love at first sight? Does love at first sight exist after all? Absolutely!
Is Wasn’t “Destiny”!
Some people like to think that they fell in love at first sight because “destiny” worked its magic on them. They like to think that destiny found a way for two people's lives and paths to intertwine causing them to find each other out of the enormous population of the world.
I have to admit. I like to think this myself. It makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside about that particular person. Doesn’t it? And look, that’s a good thing. But its only a good thing if that relationship lasts and goes to marriage where you both settle down and live a happy life together.
But what happens if you break up with this person?
In such a situation, you would be better off realizing the truth behind what caused you to fall in love at first sight with them. Otherwise you will find it very difficult to move on because you will think that you can never find someone like that again because it was “destiny” or “fate” that had brought you together and made you fall in love with them so quickly.
A lot of people spend years after a breakup feeling depressed because they fall into this trap. And this can never be considered a good thing. It’s completely needless and only magnifies your pain.
The psychology of love at first sight has NOTHING to do with “good-looks”
If love were dependent on “good looks”, then we would all fall in love everytime we walked down the street and saw good looking people. We would hardly be able to make it home without having fallen in love with 10 different people or more. We would also fall in love everytime we turned on the TV and saw good looking celebrities.
And while I find myself being attracted to gorgeous actresses like:
- Scarlett Johansson
- Jessica Alba
- Megan Fox etc
…I don’t find myself “falling in love” with them. That would be weird and unhealthy for me. As a result, my subconscious will only ever allow me to find them attractive but not cause me to fall in love with them.
So while good-looks might make you attractive to someone, they will not in and of themselves make you fall in love with them. One of the most famous examples of this in action was in the 1990’s in England when prince Charles left the beautiful princess Diana …for what most people would consider the very ordinary looking Camilla Parker Bowles. If love were dependent on looks, then he would never have left his beautiful wife for someone much less attractive.
The reality is that love at first sight (and love in general) can happen for many different reasons. I go through these in my book “”. The good thing is that you can manipulate the vast majority of these and make someone you like fall in love with you. Never think that you are not “good-looking” enough for the person you like. Good looks plays a surprisingly much smaller role in the psychology behind why we fall in love than you think.
I hope you enjoyed this article on love at first sight. For more information, check out the links below.