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Can a person have a fear of falling in love?

Having a fear of falling in love is known as philophobia. While it may seem odd to fear falling in love and expressing love, a lot of people have this condition primarily because they are afraid of losing control.

They want to be always in control of their emotions. So when someone tries to take this control away, they start putting up walls.

It is unfortunate how fear of falling in love can ruin a person’s life. Some sabotage their relationships on purpose and limit their level of intimacy with others. Some people who have this fear may also jump from one relationship to another because they keep things on a physical level only. Here there is no commitment or a sense of emotional attachment with the partner.

What can cause a fear of falling of love in a person?

More often than not, it is an intense negative past experience that causes a person to fear falling in love. However, there also seems to be instances where the mind creates fear without basis. The following are some of the most common causes why people have this fear:

  1. Being scarred by a former relationship/relationships

  2. Same fear is observed in a family member or friend

  3. Parent or guardian has painted a distorted view about love and relationship in the person’s head resulting in an untrue belief system

These experiences may lead a person to believe that love only makes one’s life miserable or that all relationships eventually turn bad.

He or she may also believe that being in love with someone means allowing that person to control one’s life. These types of false beliefs cause mental anguish in the person who has this fear.

How to Overcome Your Fear of Falling in Love

In order to overcome your fear of falling in love, you need to correct your false beliefs about love. New personal experiences may be necessary so you can defy your false beliefs and redefine love. However, you need to have the will to overcome your fear in order to make this happen. You must get past your fear so you can meet new people and build relationships.

It might seem a little extreme but therapy can be very helpful when it comes to digging out the source of your fear and replacing your negative beliefs with positive ones. A therapist can also teach you mental exercises and techniques to help you see things differently when it comes to love.

Those who are in a relationship and have this fear should inform their partner so that you can go to therapy together. Take note that this fear doesn’t only affect the person who has it, but also the people around him or her. When your partner helps out, it will be much easier for you to overcome your fear.


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