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How To Make Someone Love You - By Compensating For Their Unmet Needs

A little known fact about the psychology of love is that we are programmed to fall in love with people who look like they can compensate for unmet needs in our life. If you can find out the unmet needs a peron has, then you effectively have a direct route to making that person fall in love (rather than depend on blind luck which would otherwise be the case).

The list of unmet needs is contained in our subconscious mind in what is known as a persons Lovemap. This Lovemap determines who we will and won't fall in love with. Now not only does our lovemap depend on unmet needs for who we will and wont fall in love with but it also depends on a number of other things too such as does the person hold silimar beliefs and values as us and other complimentary traits.

The Lovemap is basically the code that determines who we will (and won’t) fall in love with. And when you know this code, it allows you to make someone love you …that otherwise wouldn’t have done. Knowing it also allows you to avoid the exact things that turn that other person off.

Now, while we all know certain things that might turn on and turn off someone, when we’re talking about someones Lovemap …we’re talking about a deeper level than simply:

  • “I’d like someone that’s smart” or
  • “I’d like someone that’s funny” etc.

What we’re talking about is what causes a person to fall in love with you at the deep psychological level …and see you as “The One”.

So how do I match the Lovemap of someone I like?

One of the questions I get asked most often is:

“How do you match someones Lovemap?”

There are a number of ways to go about this. And depending on your specific relationship situation with the person …some ways will be better than others.

I cover a few different ways on this website but to find out the full comprehensive system on how to match someones Lovemap and make them love you, check out my book “THE LOVEMAP CODE: How To Make Someone Fall In Love With You Using Psychology”. That book covers how to make a woman love you ...AND how to make a man love you.

So, let’s take just one way here in which you can match someones Lovemap - the compensation of their unmet needs. 

How is this done?

Let’s take your conversations together with the person. You can use your conversations with the person to get across that you satisfy the unmet needs on their Lovemap.

Let’s say that you find out that the particular guy/girl you want, would love to find someone that is in to rally cars. It could be that you’ve found out from your research (which I show how to conduct in THE LOVEMAP CODE program) that:

  1. An ex she once loved was really into car racing.
  2. Her dad is into car racing, and she gets on really well with her dad.
  3. She likes to see herself as a tom boy, and you feel she might be satisfying this need by being into rally cars.

When something like this means a lot to someone, it’s important to build a link between that topic (which they feel positive emotions about) and you (which you want them to feel positive emotions about).


But we’re not just talking about any old hobby or topic that is of interest to them. If it’s just the case that she just happens to be into car racing and she feels positive emotions whenever she’s discussing that topic …it’s not really an effective route to making that person fall in love with you.

Yes it’s good to be into the same things as the person you like, but that alone won’t make them fall in love with you. What you need to do is find out the things in that persons life that mean a lot to them because of some hidden psychological reason (hidden reasons like in the above 3 examples).

How To Make Someone Love You All Comes Down To Compensation

People use things like hobbies and so on to compensate for other areas of their lives that they are lacking in. Some people workout at the gym to compensate for a feeling of having been bullied at school and being unable to protect themselves. Others drink alcohol to compensate for problems in their life such as poor relationships with their family or friends.

It all comes down to compensation.

What you need to do is find out the things in that persons life that they are trying to compensate for (or cover over) …and align yourself in that persons mind as someone that can be used as a channel through which they can compensate for these needs or whatever it is they are lacking.

In other words - YOU become their source of compensation. You want to communicate to their subconscious that you are a means through which they can find compensation for their unmet needs. This is what matching a persons Lovemap is all about.

When you do it successfully, the other person will begin to wonder why they are beginning to feel such strong attachment for you.

As they won’t realize that all you’re doing is matching their Lovemap, the natural assumption they’ll come to is that you are “The One”. And when someone views you as “The One” …love is naturally induced.