Skip to main content

You are in the: Lying Detection article section             

Why is telling the truth so difficult for a compulsive liar?

Telling the truth is the norm for any healthy mindset. Over time our brains have evolved to naturally want to tell the truth. This is why when we tell lies, our body language tends to give away the fact we're hiding something.

This happens as the brain is in internal conflict with itself, as it wants to be telling the truth but has to lie in that instant to try and hide something. Examples of this conflict is displayed in our body language as:

  • Eyes down,
  • Increased blinking
  • Fidgeting,
  • Hiding our palms etc

If you find telling the truth regularly is difficult, you might be considered as what is known as a compulsive liar. In such a situation - you should seek help. People that lie always get found out and when they do, their friends and family can feel at odds with them and in time become alienated from them.

Compulsive Liars Lie Due To A Hidden Reason (Or Reasons)

When people try to stop compulsive lying, they often make the mistake of treating the symptoms rather than the actual cause of the problem. You shouldn't focus your energy on stopping telling the lies themselves but rather ask yourself what's causing you to tell the lies in the first place.

Lying is a problem, but the fact your lying indicates there's another problem causing you to lie. It's not going to be easy to admit what that problem is because it's usually a problem rooted deep in ones own insecurities.

But if you're truly serious about telling the truth as your norm, you'll have to find out what this problem is and fix it accordingly.

3 Fundamental Reasons That Cause Compulsive Lying

  1. Looking For Approval: Some people are externally dependent. This means they depend on outside people to make them feel happy and secure. They need constant approval and if it’s not forthcoming they may lie to bring about this approval.

  2. Lack Of Self Confidence: If you lack confidence, you might have acquired the habit of lying so as to make yourself seem more self confident to your peers. Here you're lying as a way of maintaining your image and stopping people finding out that your not as strong as you're putting yourself across to be.

  3. Looking For Attention:If a person feels like they're cast aside in their social group, they may lie to get the attention that they're otherwise not getting. Lying becomes the norm then as it's constantly required to get this lost attention.

How can i bring back "telling the truth" as my norm?

If regular lying has become an issue and you want to stop, you shouldn't focus on trying to break the habit itself but focus rather on what’s causing you to lie. From the above 3 examples it's clear that a common reason for persistent lying is the individuals own insecurities. However if you dealt with these and focused on:

  • Building confidence
  • Building good social skills
  • Examining your fears and dealing with them

You'd not only relinquish your need for lying but also become a stronger person in the process. Telling the truth is not only the right thing to do but will also cause you to truly value yourself. Telling the truth will, in its own right, help to make you a stronger and more confident individual.