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Cohabitation Before Marriage - The Pros Vs The Cons

Nowadays, cohabitation before marriage is often an option that many couples consider. Most couples choose it for convenience, while others do it as sort of a trial run before actually getting married.

There are varying views and sentiments about cohabitation before marriage. But the decision is still for you to make. People can only give an opinion, and not a fact from concrete experience if they themselves have not gone through cohabitation before marriage.

Whether or not living together before marriage is a good idea or not has been the subject of many debates as well. If you’re facing this dilemma, the best way to find out is to dig into the pros and cons of cohabitation before marriage for you to arrive at a decision.

So, what are the pros and cons of cohabitation?

Cohabitation Before Marriage – The Pros

Lets examine some of the advantages of cohabitation before marriage:

  1. You will know what you're getting into: This is the best thing about living together before marriage. It serves as a test for marital compatibility. The true nature of your partner will be revealed. “Being with the person” almost all of the time is still not the same as “living with the person”. The realities of living together will be made known as it gives a preview of what type of marital life you can expect with your partner.

  2. You’ll get accustomed to your partner's habits: You or your partner may have habits that you’re not comfortable with or may even find irritating once you live together. Cohabitation before marriage allows each of you to get used to these habits.

  3. You’ll develop a routine and personal space: When you do things everyday, it becomes a normal part of your routine. You’ll know the where, when, and how’s in your house that both of you agreed. The adjustment period during the first few months of marriage won’t be as difficult as it otherwise would be.

  4. You’ll solve a lot of practical problems: Living together means shared costs. For example, you can save on rent and transportation costs.

Cohabitation Before Marriage – The Cons

After knowing the pros of cohabitation before marriage, it is equally important to consider the cons:

  1. You lose the whole excitement of “being married”: If you live together prior to marriage, the tendency is that you will not appreciate the feeling of being married anymore once you do. Everything is almost the same when you are married so there is nothing new to look forward to.

  2. You might suffer criticisms of immorality: Some people consider it a sin to be living together before marriage. You may hear negative feedbacks, especially from religious people and the conservative.

  3. You might just be playing house: Some couples just cohabit without a clear intent of eventually getting married. They do it for convenience and then break up when they get tired of the relationship.

  4. It may put off the wedding indefinitely: This is the major disadvantage of cohabitation before marriage. “Why get married when everything’s in place already? It’s only the paper that’s missing.” Or “Why get married when it’s not working at all? It’s pointless to still get married.” Sadly, several researches have shown that only about 1 out of 2 cohabiting couples ever get married.

In the end, it is still your personal choice whether to choose cohabitation before marriage or not. As long as you are happy and have carefully considered the risks involved with doing or not doing it, you will not regret your decision.

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