Skip to main content

You are in the: Preparing For Marriage article section        

Does premarital counseling actually work?

We all know the sad truth that 50% of marriages end in divorce. So anything that can reduce this statistic in favor of your marriage succeeding needs to be heeded. This is where premarital counseling can help. Studies have shown that premarital counseling can reduce the chance of divorce by as much as 30%!!

Premarital counseling can help transform your relationship before marriage and set you on a better path than you might otherwise have gone down without seeking professional advice. So what exactly is premarital counseling?

Premarital counseling is a type of process/therapy that helps a couple to prepare for their marriage. Therapists that specialize in family therapy are usually the ones that can provide you with the best advice. The therapy will examine and improve various aspects of your relationship with your soon to be wife or husband.

Is Premarital Counseling really that helpful?

Anything that puts two parties together in the one environment to open the lines of communication between them is a fundamentally good thing. In a premarital counseling session the couples inner thoughts are opened up. They are able to talk about their beliefs and their fears as regards how each other are going to act in that relationship.

If you are thinking about going for premarital counseling, you may be wondering what you might talk about in a session. What will be thrown out in front of the counselor and will it be a difficult process to go through.

First of all, I want to assure you it’s no big deal from this point of view. Most people actually find the experience therapeutic as opening up and discussing your inner world can take a weight off your shoulder if you’re genuinely worried about your upcoming marriage.

10 Things That Come Up In a Premarital Counseling Session

A premarital counselor should address the following areas:

  1. Communication: How does your partner communicate? This is examined as how they communicate now is how they will communicate when their married. So any problems here need to be addressed and ironed out.

  2. Conflict resolution: It’s important to know your partners method of resulting conflict.

  3. Expectations in marriage: What do you expect from your partner? What do you want them to do for you and with you?

  4. Personality Issues: Do not forget that an annoying behavior usually do not go away.

  5. Finances: Are you okay with your partners’ attitude and habits when it comes to money?

  6. Sexual expectations: Is the frequency and type of sex ok with both partners?

  7. Children and Parenting: Most couples have kids and they need to know if both of you are on the same page on how to raise them.

  8. Spirituality: How you exercise your spirituality as a couple if you are religious that is.

  9. Roles in marriage: What should your wife do around the house and at work? And conversely, what should the husband do around house and at work.

  10. Leisure activities: Do you enjoy spending time together? And do you enjoy doing the same activities together?

Premarital Counseling – Final thought

You may not feel you NEED premarital counseling, but it’s still wise to go to it with your partner. You may be happy with your spouse and the impending marriage but the session might throw up a few surprises about things, which you hadn’t fully thought through.

At least then, you would be able to talk them through with your partner and the counselor. At the end of the day, premarital counseling is an assessment. The results of which will guide you in your relationship together as a married couple.

Want to know more?

Yes, how do I increase my chances of getting a "yes" answer when I propose?

Is a "cohabitation agreement" a good idea?

What if we need couples therapy but can't afford it?