Skip to main content

Can a rebound relationship last?

Can a rebound relationship last?
Does a rebound relationship last?
How long does a rebound relationship last?

Some people enter relationships not because they love the other person, but instead do so just to escape from some element of their life that’s bothering them. They may be:

  • Addicted to love
  • Want to increase their self-esteem
  • Have a poor social life and no way of getting out
  • Feel lonely

The problem with all these is that they are clear indicators of unmet needs in the persons life. They are not related to the other person but have to do with underlying problems in the person that's seeking the relationship.

When someone falls in love for these reasons - then it's not real love. It's just a method they are using to make themselves feel better about things in their life. The subconscious mind is trying to find the person another relationship so they can feel good again ...but the result however, is a short-lived rebound relationship.

Is it always unmet needs that are the cause?

Sometimes its simply ego and pride. These can play a big part. The person may feel they need to prove, both to themselves and others, that there's nothing wrong with them just because they were dumped.

If they can get someone to fall in love with them so soon again after the breakup it serves as both an ego booster and a revenge tactic on their old ex. But what these show us is that it isn’t love that’s causing them to get into the relationship, but other issues that the person has.


In my book THE LOVEMAP CODE: How To Make Someone Fall In Love With You Using Psychology I show that people fall in love with someone after their subconscious mind makes a determination that that person is a good match for the people. If a person enters a rebound relationship for the wrong reasons, their subconscious mind is not properly able to calculate if this new person is a good match for you. It is so eager for you to end your pain that it makes you fall in love as a quick fix solution even though the person is not a good match.

A rebound relationship can last (and can last for the next 50 years) if you get lucky and this new person is a good psychological match for you on a number of different levels (such as values and beliefs, complimentary traits, life goals etc). So while your subconscious might not have been doing its job in picking a good partner for you (because it was trying to cover over unmet needs), if you get lucky and the person is a good match for you anyway - then the relationship may very well last.

But because you are depending on luck rather than your subconscious properly doing its job ...the odds are against you. This is why, on average, rebound relationships don't last.

What should I do if I enter rebound relationships for wrong reasons?

Rebound relationships are not good ways to cover over aspects of your life you’re not happy about. Relationships that are based on an unhealthy foundations like this are almost certain to fail. The problem then is that any problems the person was using the relationship to cover over come rushing back to the fore again.

In my book “THE ERASE CODE: How To Get Over Anyone In Less Than A Week Using Psychology”, I show how to perform a self analysis to see if there are any unmet needs lurking in your psyche that would cause you to get into a relationship for anything other than genuine love and care for the other person. Only when you know the exact things that are causing the problem, can you begin on a course to remedy them.

Was this helpful?

Yes, how can I heal a broken heart through examination and action?

Is keeping busy a good way to handle a break up?

Getting dumped has shaken my confidence on my looks. Can you help me?

How do I deal with loneliness using the psychology of self-talk?

What are the psychological causes of loneliness?