Why Studies About The Importance Of Being Beautiful ...Are Often Mis-Leading
I want to be beautiful!
But just how important is physical beauty?
Do otherwise intelligent people judge others based simply on their looks?
While all of us are familiar with the old adage not to “judge a book by its cover” ...we must also be aware of a split that exists between our conscious and subconscious minds.
We all try to consciously avoid judging people based on looks but we often can’t avoid our subconscious mind contradicting us. As a result, despite our best intentions we still end up forming judgements and impressions based on people’s looks during our initial encounters.
What The Studies Show
Studies have repeatedly shown that physical beauty does make a difference to people and that people form judgements about others based on their looks ...at least until they get to know them better.
Psychologists have found that people often associate positive traits with people they consider attractive ...even if they have not met the person yet! In one study people were found to be more helpful when approached for help by an attractive or well-dressed person ...than they were when approached by just an ordinary looking person.
In another study, it was reported that when people were shown pictures of people ...they rated the attractive people in the photos as:
- More successful socially
- More financially better off
- And even as happier
In another study teachers were asked to read almost identical texts attributed to different students whose pictures were attached to the texts. Teachers gave higher ratings to attractive students and believed they were more intelligent.
The list goes on and on. Study after study seems to reach the same conclusion; physical attractiveness does make a difference ...as unethical and immoral such a finding might seem to us.
But Here's What The Studies Don't Show...
But what these studies don't do is tell you that standards of physical attraction differ from person to person. You may find yourself feeling unattractive while there are still many people around who believe you are attractive. This happens in much the same way that you might find a certain person attractive ...while another person may find them just ordinary.
As a result, it is extremely important that you avoid an overly narrow definition of physical beauty which may end up unintentionally harming your self esteem. There is no one-size-fits all version of physical attractiveness. Some people prefer blondes while others prefer red-heads, some women prefer slim men while others prefer muscular men. Whatever type of person you are there will be people out there who will think of you as ordinary ...while others may find you very attractive.
It is perfectly normal for some people to find you unattractive ...while others will find you attractive. It all depends on the specific qualities that other person is looking for. This specific set of qualities is derived from a subliminal guide to our perefect partner that we all carry around with us in our subconscious mind ...called our "Lovemap".
In my book "" I show how a persons Lovemap works ...and how to take advantage of this subliminal guide imprinted on a persons mind to make them like you ...and then fall in love with you.
Remember that while physical beauty makes some degree of difference ...it is also something that is fluid and changes from person to person and place to place (Check out my article on 4 experiments which prove looks play only a small role on first impressions)
A self image problem occurs when your looks are out of alignment with your beauty standards. You may feel that taller and slimmer figures are the epitome of beauty and that if you do not fit that specific mould then you can never be considered beautiful.
This ignores the fact that many other people do not feel the same way and in fact may be more interested in your specific body type. Here the problem stems from your beauty standards and not your appearance. You need to abandon false beliefs that limit yourself and re-align your sense of what is attractive so that you can see yourself positively ...the same way people who find you attractive view you.