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How To Overcome Shyness Using Operational Feedback

People who are extremely shy often have an inferiority complex. This can cause them to have an unorthodox view of their own self-worth as well as the impression that they give off to other people. The result is that their own lack of self-worth turns into a self-fulfilling prophecy and people latch on to the negative aura that they project.

If you want to overcome your shyness, then it is important to know how you come off to other people and what kind of personality you project …or as I call it – “Operational Feedback”. This will provide you with a good basis as to what you need to do in order to improve yourself as a person.

How do I implement operational feedback?

Instead of obsessing over what other people might think about you, try asking them directly and look for objective feedback. Of course, assuming that you are the shy type, then talking directly to people might be a little bit hard for you. Fortunately, there are a number of different ways for you to solicit feedback without direct confrontation. These include:

  • Casual Questioning: This involves subtly working in questions about yourself into a casual conversation such as asking, “do you think I act too reserved?’

  • Comparison Feedback: During conversation, just for fun ask the person which of your mutual friends are you most like. Alternatively, you could ask what famous celebrity are you most similar to.

  • Body Language Feedback: Observe their body language. Is anything out of place that’s bothering you? If there is, look at your own body language. The reason being is that people naturally mirror other people’s body language without even realizing it. If there is something about their body language that’s bothering you, it could be just a mirror of your body language …which if it is – you might want to examine.

  • Online Personality Tests: Alternatively, you could try an online personality test. One of the most famous (and accurate) is the DISC personality system. It might let you in on a few things about yourself such as your needs and wants that might make examining yourself that bit easier. 

Analyzing Operational Feedback

After you have gathered sufficient feedback from people you know, you can formulate a more or less objective self-image based on the consensus of the feedback you have taken.

You should make use of the data that you have gathered to pinpoint key weaknesses in your personality which might be contributing to your shyness.


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