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How To Stop Being Shy - Using Internal Focusing

Are you an introvert and would like to know how to stop being shy? The reality of shyness is that we are all shy to a degree, but some are better at disguising it than others. And when it comes to disguising it, the key lies in your own mind and how you think.

In this article i'd like to cover how to overcome shyness not by doing superficial tricks but rather by focusing inwards to examine how your mind works and what makes you feel shy. You can then use this information on your path to becoming a more confident individual.

5 Point Plan To Looking Inwards

Follow these steps to overcome your shyness:

  1. Identify Your Shyness' Causes: Identify the things or scenarios that cause you to feel shy and what thoughts go through your head right before shyness strikes you. Next, come up with statements to encourage yourself whenever they occur. For example, “I can do this...” or “It’s okay...”

  2. Acknowledge Your Talents: Whether you believe it or not, each of us has a special gift or talent. Believe that you know something, can do something, or have accomplished something. Don’t focus on appearance or superficial things. Spend more time with people who bring out the best in you. This will help develop your self confidence.

  3. Examine Your Body Language: Have you left your shyness affect your body language? Make sure that you demonstrate an open and friendly image with your body language. Maintain eye contact with people you’re talking to and smile. If you’re approachable, people will be more accommodating towards you and consequently you’ll feel more comfortable. Stand tall and speak clearly. Slouching and stuttering gives the impression that you are not confident. Speaking clearly also eliminates the need for you to repeat what you said and avoid embarrassment. And don’t forget to laugh where appropriate to relieve the tension.

  4. Set Goals For Anxious Situations: List situations in the order that makes you feel most anxious. Then set goals on how you can overcome each of them. With this done you should start working through them one by one, starting with the bottom on your list. You will find yourself gaining much confidence as you gradually rise higher on your list.

  5. What Are You Most Afraid Of?: Being daring and doing “big things” can make you feel more confident about your capabilities. Eventually, something like approaching a guy or girl will become much easier for you.

And Remember...

Avoid The Comparison Trap! This is one of the easiest traps to fall into which is unfortunate because it can also be one of the most damaging. Comparing yourself to others will only make you feel inferior or that you do not measure up to them. Intimidation then makes you feel shyer.

The reality is that if you compare yourself to others, you will always fall short of some perceived advantage they may have over you because you will be focusing on this perceived advantage and ignoring things that aren't so good in their lives.


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