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How many days should you wait before texting a girl you just met?

It usually goes something like this:

“Great! I got her number. She likes me! Now I must wait a couple of days before texting her, otherwise I might come across as desperate”

Wrong! That’s how inexperienced guys think. And when you make a woman wait like this, she’ll question if you really are the genuine guy she was willing to give her number to …or just someone that feels they need to play mind games on the woman in order to make themselves look better than they really are.

If possible, you should always text the girl the day after you got her number. But not only that, you should actually tell her (at the time of taking her number) that you will text her the next day and state an exact time of day. And ask her would it be ok if you text her at that time.

So in other words, the traditional:

“So I’ll text you sometime, ok?”


“I’ll send you a text tomorrow around 2pm. Is that ok?”

What’s the reasoning behind this approach?

There are two reasons why this approach is better:

  • Firstly, Waiting A Few Days Can Backfire: While you might be tempted to play hard-to-get thinking that this will make you seem like more of a challenge, it can actually go against you. If she interprets this as an attempt of just that (ie you trying to set yourself up as a challenge), she might lose some of the respect she had for you when she was willing to give you her number. In such a situation, don’t be surprised if you get a lukewarm reply  …or worse, no reply.

  • Secondly, Giving A Day And Time Creates A Promise: The reality is that when you provide a specific time-frame for her to expect your text message, what you’re doing is playing a little psychological trick. Essentially you’re making a promise to the woman …which she will now in turn be watching to see if you keep. By telling her that you’re going to text her the next day (and at a time that you specify), you’re creating a test for yourself in her mind to prove that you’re a trustworthy person. Then, the next day, once you’ve fulfilled your promise by sending her the text message, she’ll be subconsciously begin viewing you as someone that makes and keeps promises and that can be trusted.

This approach fosters an opportunity for a more intimate relationship to develop between you both …right from the get go.

But will I look too desperate?

Don’t worry about coming across as “too desperate” or “too eager”. You won’t. You’ll come across as someone that is confident and assertive enough to go after something that you want. That’s an attractive quality women look for in a man.

By setting a specific day and time, you’ll also show yourself to be decisive. And when you keep that promise - as someone that is trustworthy. Just make sure that you actually send her the text on the date and time that you specified.

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