What is “external dependency” and how does it lead to Infidelity in marriage?
Infidelity in marriage is a very difficult thing to endure in life. But what causes infidelity in marriage and more importantly, what can be done to prevent it from happening? First I want to explain the psychological term of being "externally dependent". External dependency in a person is when that person is dependent on some outside thing, be it:
- A person
- An object
- Or any outside element
They need this outside thing to feel happy and good about themselves or they need it to relieve a bad feeling or depression. In other words the real problem is inside the person and they feel down when they are alone. Infidelity in marriage can result if one partner feels isolated. The only means of escapism is through some external object and they are not capable of being content on their own.
One thing that is not widely known is that people fall in love because the thing they are externally dependent on is love. It can actually be the feeling of love and not necessarily the actual person they are in love with. If they are not really in love with their partner, then in time infidelity in marriage may result.
In what other ways can external dependency result in infidelity in marriage?
External dependency comes in many forms. It can reveal itself through alcoholism, heavy smoking, drug abuse etc. However, it also comes in less obvious ways than these. External dependency on love as stated above is an example of a less obvious example. As a result of being hidden and not so obvious, people almost never understand it for what it is.
Infidelity in marriage can result if one partner is externally dependent on love and feels that the love has gone from their marriage. They need love to feel happy and so attempt to seek it somewhere else. I go through this psychological condition in the book "" and how it needs to be dealt with to ensure a healthy relationship.
Can infidelity in marriage be prevented so?
Yes. But it’s the root cause of any infidelity in marriage or any potential infidelity that needs to be addressed. Very often the person is externally dependent because of an underlying issue they have with themselves. They may have low self-esteem or have a poor self-image and they look for external things to make them feel better.
An individual who is content and happy in themselves is almost never externally dependent. While they may like and feel good with an external thing or person - they are not dependent on them. Strengthening a person's self-confidence will result in less likelihood of infidelity in marriage and offer the strongest piece of mind for the other party.
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